Prefer to be single...

[Emmielu]

Im 20 & weirdly enough, i dont want to date. I dont want a relationship. I dont want to share my ben & jerrys with my boyfriend on a friday night. I just want to be alone in that subject. Is that wrong? I look around at some of my mummy friends & all bar 2 are single. I look at mums around my age & see that they're in stable relationships. Part of me thinks "yeah i should really do that since settling down would be nice." But the rest of me thinks "No, i dont want to do that. I want my space." My ex thinks its strange that i want to be single. I however, do not. Its an option isnt it. There is no specific age limit as to when you have to settle down.

I've had a few long term relationships & i think after learning from each one, i'm better off on my own for a while, focusing on what i'd like to achieve with my life. Whats wrong with that? I'm not at the point where i miss the cuddles or kisses. Am i weird?

No you're not weird at all. You sound like you have your head well and truly stuck on

No you aren't weird.
It's your life, your choice. Enjoy.

Good for you, I'd quite like to be single too! Plenty of time to change your mind/ find someone if that's what you want later on.

If I could go back and talk to my 20 year old self I'd tell myself to not settle down until I was at least 30.

Why on earth would you want to be settled down and tied at 20 when you have years and years ahead of you for that?

Believe me, at 43, I really wish I had spent a lot more of my 20's single, doing what I wanted to do without having to run it by someone else or think of how they would feel about it.

I would also say, your "settled down" friends are probably very envious of you and the freedom you have.

I know there is a belief by some that if you have your kids early you will have plenty of time for fun once you are in your 40's and they have grown up.. but it rarely works out that way. Kids need financial support for many years, then they have children of their own, and before you get that freedom, you are a grandparent and too knackered or skint to do all those thing you kept promising yourself when you were younger.

Do it now, while you can! You can travel, you can date without commitment, you can do whatever you like and that is a bloody good thing to be able to do!

Age 20 you're meant to be out there, travelling the world, having hot sex with interesting strangers, and generally experiencing everything life has to offer. Not settling for premature middle-age, sat at home in your cardie and slippers playing Scrabble with some equally dull bloke. Of course being independent is a perfectly sensible thing to be.