Can anyone tell me if i divorce my husband for adultery

[loganberry12]

if i divorce my husband for adultery will he have to pay any costs i think i can get legal aid as im on benefits but he works full time

If you can prove adultery I think he has to pay all the costs but you do need evidence.

I went for unreasonable behaviour as no proof but we asked that he pay my costs if he defended it which he hasnt.

I get legal aid though due to low income

ok thanks got no proof he's denying it but i know he has been

Have you been advised by a solicitor to petition for divorce on the grounds of your h's adultery?

Your h will only pay legal fees if he employs a solicitor to contest your petition for divorce or any other aspect of your marital breakdown such as division of assets, child support etc - although he can dispense with a lawyer and contest himself if he so wishes.

If you intend to divorce your h for adultery and he denies it, you won't get very far without evidence to support your claim.

You would either need him to admit it or you to prove it. The other way of having him pay for the divorce itself is to petition on the grounds on his unreasonable behaviour, which could include adultery, but again there is a burden of proof. The cost of divorce is about 1k. However, the legal bit of separating finances would be still your cost, and if all done through a solicitor, will be more than the divorce itself.

I told my exH he was paying for the divorce, and therefore needed to admit adultery on the forms. He said what if he refused - I told him I had texts. And if it wasn't adultery it would be unreasonable behaviour, so he was still paying. And if he made me go to the bother of proving it, not only would he be ultimately increasing his own costs, but I might be so hacked off I would tell OW's hb and name her in the divorce.

In the form you fill in, you have to give the name of the person he was with.

I didn't think there was a difference in who pays. Isn't it family money anyway?

i know her name so i could name her and i'll get legal aid as im on low income not sure if he'll have to pay anything

My OW was named as the person that he was emailing and texting 100 times a day as unreasonable behaviour but not as adultery as no proof of that. My H is not defending it but his solicitor wrote that the allegations will be challenged if repeated in any other context..... So he can't deny it as I have proof of contact but not of affair so I can't claim that. They won't name OW without proof of adultery.

From what you've said, a solicitor will no doubt advise you to petition for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour - the reason being that, without evidence to support your allegation, you could find yourself on the wrong end of a claim for defamation of character from any party you name as co-respondent.

In uncontested divorce cases it's customary for each side to bear their own costs, but you can petition the Court to award costs against the respondent (your h) - your solicitor will advise.

If you have dc to consider, consult a solicitor who specialises in divorce and family law.

My solicitor told me that both parties pay their own costs

Would a card written by STBX to OW declaring their intimate times together count as proof of adultery? (As I have that)

Also someone mentioned that there is a timescale involved of 6 months from finding out - is that the case?

You do not have to name the OW. A solicitor would generally advise you not to do so as it can slow things down and increase costs.

As izzyizin says, if he denies adultery you will need evidence to prove it. Without evidence you won't get your divorce. It is better in most cases to go for unreasonable behaviour as you don't have to prove anything and it is less likely to be contested.

And yes, there is a time limit. If you do not start proceedings within 6 months of finding out (or within 6 months of the most recent act of adultery if that is later) and you continue to live with your husband you are regarded as having accepted the adultery and cannot use this as grounds for divorce.

yes, 6 months time limit from finding out (not from act of adultery) for petition,

I guess a card is about as hard evidence as possible unless you installed spycams on the participants!!

If you both want the divorce you can go for an 'unreasonable behaviour' reason within the first 6 months, or you can wait 2 years and go for a no-fault divorce.

If you can also agree to an amicable split of finances and access to children, then the courts will support you. If you do a DIY divorce, which can be done when both sides are amicable, you just fill in a form when you complete the paperwork asking for the court fees for your part to be covered. It doesn't cost a huge amount anyway, it was a couple of hundred when I did it this way but that was 7 years ago so fees may have increased slightly.

Your family court will be able to advise you. It will cost you nothing to ask for them to send you an information pack and that will tell you everything you need to know. You can find their number in the phone book under your local courts.

Everything you need to know is on this website

This is also quite interesting - taken from the same website and something you should be aware of as it does make it in both your interests to settle amicably:

"If you get legal aid to pay for a solicitor or barrister, you may have to pay it back.

If you get money out of a divorce settlement, it will go towards paying off your legal aid. If the money you get covers all of the solicitor?s bill, you keep what?s left over. If the money you get doesn?t cover all the of the solicitor?s bill, you will still have to pay back the remaining balance."

You may also have to pay for your legal aid if you get property in your divorce settlement. For example, if you get your partner?s share of the house you live in. In situations like this, you can either pay back all of your legal aid straight away or in instalments.