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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How do I leave?

10 replies

Oxforddesperado · 20/06/2012 20:54

I need to leave. I cannot claim domestic violence.

How do I do this? We private rent but we are in the process of buying another house. Would I be able to continue to rent alone and get some help? Would he leave? I cant bear it any more.

We have two dc one of them is a baby.

OP posts:
thornbury · 20/06/2012 21:08

Have you got somewhere to go? Can you back out of the house purchase?

Original poster
Oxforddesperado · 20/06/2012 21:12

If I back out he cannot continue it alone. He can't afford it without me.

I have nobody else.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 20/06/2012 21:14

Why do you want to leave? Domestic violence is not the only reason why WA will help?

thornbury · 20/06/2012 21:19

Then he has to make other living arrangements, as will you. It is better than being entangled in something that will make you both miserable. If you have serious doubts, it is best not to proceed.

As for why you want to leave, if you wanted to discuss it I think you'd have given some info. I left because I had decided to end the marriage, dv is not the only 'good enough' reason. If you don't want to be with him any more, that's good enough.

Original poster
Oxforddesperado · 20/06/2012 21:24

It's mental abuse and he doesn't want me to leave the home apart from when I take the children with me. He won't look after them.

I don't know what to do. As I said, there is no one in real life to help me. The only practical help I receive s from his mum.

OP posts:
Gilberte · 20/06/2012 21:26

Can you contact Citizens' Advice bureau for advice? Could you ask for help at your local children's centre? They may be able to put you in touch with someone who can help.

I feel so sad reading your post. Wish there was something we could do.

RandomMess · 20/06/2012 21:26

Womans Aid will help you, it is not just for domestic violence. Phone them, they will arrange to come and collect you and the children from somewhere. You need documents etc clothing if you can. I believe there is a useful list on the womans aid website?

Gilberte · 20/06/2012 21:33

refuge.org.uk/about-us/what-we-do/helpline/

Gilberte · 20/06/2012 21:33

refuge.org.uk/about-us/what-we-do/helpline/

izzyizin · 20/06/2012 21:48

Women's Aid website here: www.womensaid.org.uk

What would his probable reaction be if you told him you don't want to commit to buying a house with him and/or that you intend to leave him?

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