Shouting out the Ex's name inopportunely. Does it matter?

[Challen]

Being under the prior impression it is not really a big deal, I think I would still like to moot. I am pretty sure I shouted it out, and then to make matters worse I swore because I thought I'd said it!! (I don't swear in everyday life at all) although I did giving birth both times but that's normal!

I can categorically state I was not thinking of my ex at the time (I have no sexual nostalgia for him now after 3 years apart), but having examined the instance I can only conclude that the passion was to a degree matching that of my previous experiences with my ex, in other words, most wonderful! Hence my outburst. He is my first lover since I left my ex.

My new partner is very sensitive about the issue and I am under the impression he is convinced I was thinking of my ex, despite my assurances otherwise.
I did try to explain to him that it was probably just the familiarity of the situation, habit, etc. I know I used to accidentally call incoming partner's by the outgoing's partner's name for some domestic trifle or other, ie "Want a cup of tea (insert the wrong name)?!" and it has happened to me in the past, to which I have just laughed or shrugged it off.

I realise however, that it is a potentially sensitive incident and need to know how to reassure my new man it was meaningless.
I was a little surprised he then discussed it with his own Ex, although apparently it just came up in conversation when she mentioned a similar episode herself, to which her response was first alarm and then later dismissal.

So. Is it possible I was subconsciously thinking of him? Because I was very much into my new man at that moment so I can't see how
I just don't want to make the same error again, that's all.

Please assure me this happens to lots of women, or advise me on how better I may have handled the explanation?

God i don't know what to say sorry, except it's probably the worst thing you can do.

sorry that wasn't helpful was it. I'm so embarresed for you I don't know what to say, i'll shut up now and wait for someone wiser to come along.

It has happened to me- Was unnoticed or uncommented on. Once was cos I was thinking of ex. The other time was force of habit having been with ex for years.

I would put your experience down to latter- I think you can read too much Into it.

And worse that can happen?

A man I was with once said his own name
Now that is weird as it can't be explained away!

It was just probably force of habit with you.

I didn't feel embarrassed, because I know I wasn't thinking of him. I am quite sure it was just habit.

The 'worst thing I can do', though? Gawd, ok that's worrying...

My current partner started to call me by his ex's name (during a mundane conversation, not sex) the other day. I got really upset (PMT probably had a lot to do with it).

But, my ex's name has been on the tip of my tongue lots of times. Bizarrely, usually when I'm getting it on with DP. The thing is, I hate my ex. I think he's an absolute cunt. And the thought of having sex with him makes my skin crawl. So I can't think why his name comes to mind when I'm on the throes of passion with DP. Habit, maybe?

I can totally understand why your DP is upset. If my DP called me his ex's name in bed I'd be devastated.

But at the same time I can completely see how nothing at all can be meant by it.

That's not very helpful, sorry. Be reeeeeeeaaaalllllllyyyyy nice to your DP?

"A man I was with once said his own name"

:o

Hilarious!

I booked a holiday in my ex's name early on. When I told DH (then DP) he thought it was hilarious. It needs laughing off because it's a ridiculous thing to get upset over.

You've said sorry, it's now his problem to get over. Don't be bullied over an honest and natural mistake.

AThing what makes it worse is he had a mirrored wardrobe and I'm sure he looked at his self in it while at it

His own name!!!!!!

What did you do????!

This is why I call all my boyfriends 'sweetheart'.... :) No names, no pack drill.

I just looked at him and said 'what the fuck did you say?!' He admitted he said he's own name and wasn't ashamed. I never saw him after that.

I like a man who has lots of christian names - more chance of getting it right

They're all 'honey' to me, and 'darling' if they do something that I find particularly pleasing.

My late much loved and lamented dear aunt's h ran off with her best friend who, coincidentally, had the same christian name as my relative. He had it made - didn't even matter if he called out the name in his sleep.

So what was the name SP? Narcissus?

The name was John so couldn't cover it up if he wanted too!

You could mention Pavlov's dog.

Seems like a similar case. :o

Also, if it helps, I have called my cat by my son's name and vice versa.
Particularly when telling them off with the same expression.

And I've called my sister "love", which is what I sometimes called ex (early days...).

It happens all the time and it's involuntary. It doesn't mean a thing.

DP (second marriage) warned me that he might accidentally use previous wife's name sometimes. He never did. I realise this does not help you.

SP :o

I'm so disappointed you didn't see him again.

There's so much else we need to know!

I can answer any questions! I saw him for a month. So ask away

My great uncle had two wives called Eileen (not at the same time).

I guess he really wanted to avoid this situation :o

I didn't see him after that in case he thought well she knows now and wanted me to wear his clothes during while wearing a mask of his face

"I got revenge by shouting out his Dads name in the middle of sex."

:o

Ha ha ahahahah

I think that crosses some kind of line :o

SP - did he actually say that he wasn't ashamed?

:o SP

OMG, I'm roaring here :o