How do I cope

[StomachKnotts]

Help please

Been with boyfriend/DP for 4 years who is separated, was separated for 2 years when I met him. He partially lived with me. Has two jobs and one is shift work and the other cabbing, so he was here probably 4 nights a week "semi living with me" in a small one bed, I have a teen son who has the bedroom and I sleep in the frontroom. He used to pay me a certain amount towards things. Somehow I ended up doing his washing/ironing and cooking ( I know, I know). But because he gave me money i sort of felt pressurised to do this seeings he was only partially here. He always said I didn't have to do it when challenged but he never helped out. To be honest I've always felt like he's used this house as a sort of hotel. We've been arguing etc. for the last few months and it's been a I'm leaving and going back to my parents ( I feel he either gives me the silent treatment or needs a few days out) or me telling him to go. I've always felt like I was a rebound (maybe just my insecurites as he's a rather quiet man grumpy)

Anyway, we had a barney last week and he went off, I called him a sexist pig! Ooops.

We hadn't seen each other for a week, yes, ok, I've been asking him for communication pestering him

He finally came into my work today looking very very sad saying he doesn't think it will work anymore, his dad has just been taken into a hospice and his divorce papers have just come through.

I said OK, shall we give this one more shot and back off, we live apart and see each other a couple of times a week. To that he said he will never change and neither will I so he doesnt know. He then said He'd pop in this Saturday to see me and ds for an hour or so. I said ummm no, I wasn't happy with that and would rather wait until we could arrange an evening together.

Right. I'm so in limbo about this. I'm a cut and dried person and like to know where I am and feel he has all the power so to speak.

Has anyone else had to just back right off and not contact to wait to see what will transpire, I'm so tempted to say no, I can't handle this.

What would you do?

Oh, I knew about the divorce papers, he told me last week and his dad has had cancer for about 2 years now and is only in the hospice for a week to make him feel a bit better.

So he abused your hospitality, you argue a lot, he's removed himself from all contact or a week and when he came back says he doesn't think 'you' will work anymore...

You respond with a shall we try again???????????

He says in so many words there is no point...

and you want to know if you should chase him??

Why why would you want to? Can you just answer that?

What would I do? I'd report my post, get it removed, and re-post minus son's name.

Have you posted before on this matter? Maybe using a different name?

does this relationship make you feel safe secure and loved? if not, forget it.

Hes of no use to you unless he adores you

thanks Izzy, didn't even noticed i wrote DS's name. post reported and reposted.

Hi there
We have removed your DSs name.
Thanks MNHQ

Thanks Olivia. I didn't know you could do that so have started a new thread without the name.

But once again thank you for doing this so quickly for me.

FGS, woman, what are you like???!!!

He lets you off the hook and you clamour to wriggle on it again?

Think on, honey. And think on about the appalling message you've been giving to your ds for 4 far too long years.

What is it about this miserable tosser guy that gets you salivating for more punishment of the same? Does he have a gi-normous cock hidden assets?

Surely you can see through this hackneyed ploy? He's got no intention of setting you free. All he's doing is exercising his power over you by withholding/withdrawing his attentions until you're putty in his hands. And you're showing him how malleable you are.

It's time for you to prove to yourself, to your ds, and to this twat, that you're made of sterner stuff... but are you?

Btw, when you called him a 'sexist pig' you were telling it how he is. Surely you deserve better than a misogynist misery guts?

@StomachKnotts

Thanks Olivia. I didn't know you could do that so have started a new thread without the name.

But once again thank you for doing this so quickly for me.

Well we don't often.
here is the link to the new thread