I want a baby, he doesn't. What to do?

[ReallyWantABaby]

Backstory. We have 2 dds already. We had pretty much agreed we would stop at 2, even though I wanted another.
I fell pg accidentally (not using protection as we've had fertility issues in the past) in Feb. He didn't want to keep it but eventually agreed that we would manage. Miscarried in April at 12 weeks :( I am absolutely devastated, even 10 weeks on I cry every day about it.

All I can think about is being pg again and having another baby. He just says it isn't happening. We have only had sex once since it happened and he insisted on using condoms. I cried afterwards and don't want to have sex again using condoms.

So what advice do people have for either persuading him to go for it or for accepting what has happened and moving on?

If it's difficult talking about your feelings, could you write them down and get him to read the letter in front of you? It's very important he understands how much this is affecting you, as a starting point.

All the best - I do feel for you. x

Open I get what you're saying about making the present miserable by wishing for an ideal. It's true. Even 6 months ago I would never ever have believed I could be so utterly miserable about not having another child. I have been in much worse situations than I am now (single parent on benefits, etc) but was happy, so I know I can be happier and that life isn't all miserable. But also to flip your thought around, if you know you want something and don't do anything about getting it you could end up with a less happy future and regrets. So I am trying to go for what I want but at the same time not miss out on what I already have, which is more than I would have wished for 10 years ago.

Xmas that's what I decided to do. I am in the process of writing it all down and will get him to read it at the weekend when we have a bit more time to talk about it. The conversations at the minute aren't proper conversations, it feels more like me pestering him and him saying no rather than either of us really talking about feelings. Hopefully letting him know what my feelings are and how strong they are will be a better starting point for an actual conversation.