Both freaking out!

[OfficialFlyingSquirrel]

Hello, hope you are having a good weekend. My boyfriend and I have been 'casually' ttc for a few months now. Ie, just not using contraception. This month we've worked out the window of opportunity, and this weekend is when we should be having lots of sex.
I don't want to! And he's been a bit quiet as well. No shagging at all!
Is it normal to get a bit freaked out when it all gets that bit 'closer' and more planned about having kids? I dont know about him but its scared me a bit that if we have sex this weekend we could have a baby! I know that's what we were trying to do but this feels like pre wedding jitters! I think I'd like to go back to the non formal, non planned let's just do it unprotected method.
Also, neither of us know the first thing about babies. Is it something you just learn or should we spend time hanging out with a friends baby? Aargh I feel like I've just left primary school and am not grown up enough for this. We are 35 ;)

I found it weird, too, when I let myself think of the consequences. I was 30 and had never had unprotected sex.

Have you done the ovulation tests? That's what threw me, on top of everything else.

why not ignore dates and charts and lists and just do it when you fancy it

nothing like having to do it to order to get turned off

It's like you know when you are due to go to the hairdresser? And the second before you walk in the door you think oh I actually really like my hair right now. I feel a bit like that. Now it's hit me we're officially 'trying', Ive decided l like my life just fine the way it is!
I'm just going to wait til tomorrow, when I am no longer fertile, and get back in the sack. Then I definitely will ignore any charts and temperature and ovulation trackers. You're right, it does take away a bit of the excitement and it's not like we're in a rush to get pregnant. In the next year or so will be fine!

You lucky cos I'd love to be trying to conceive! Otoh, I was out the other night, thinking what a great time I was having with my boyfriend going around with him all the time, and I thought 'If you were pregnant, you wouldn't be doing any of this....' Still. Lucky you!

How do you think you would feel this time next year if there was no baby in your life? Sad or relieved?

I'd be sad if I was not pregnant or a parent. And boyf said this morning, he's not keen on the idea of 'having to do it on the days we are told to' but would be happy if I got pregnant.
We both want it, it's just a bit scary getting there

In that case I think you're right to lay off the temping and trackers and just have fun! Becoming a parent is a very scary prospect, I would imagine everyone has a freakout at some point, but you do just grow into it and it is worth it :)

Hate to say this, but if you're 35 you are in a bit of a rush!

Thanks both. And I know 35 is not young! I say no rush as in not desperate to get pg right this second. But def within six months. Although who am I kidding? Like these things can be planned!!
And you know how other people's babies can look a bit snotty and stuff? When it's your own it's different, right? Cos ours will obv be perfect :) short and no doubt ginger, but perfect !

You get used to snot . There are days when you feel distinctly crusty with the various streams of goo coming out of your child and you would dearly love to just be clean for once. But that snotty phase doesn't really last long and they are so cute it more than makes up for it!

aaah it sounds cute. But very very grown up!

Definitely relax and forget temperature charts or whatever. I think children are like tattoos... best acquired when slightly pissed rather than thought about too deeply. In the meantime, do spend time hanging out with friends who have babies. Other people's are never as nice as your own but you do get the general idea.

It's a long time since I conceived but has it changed that much? Temperature? Ovulation trackers? Yikes!

I definitely think you're right to go back to just plain old makin' lurve - then when your DC is a teenager, you get the fun of watching them squirm as you and your DH discuss which hot session they were the result of . . . all in the best possible taste, of course

DH and I picked a needless fight (so no sex) the weekend we thought DC1 could be conceived- we was wrong

Thanks you guys. I'd love to wait 6 months - bit longer (and get another snowboarding season in beforehand...) but I am well aware I am not getting any younger. But being a 40 year old parent, for example, is so not the end of the world as far as I'm concerned.

I was drunk with two of my tattoos and i hate them.. hope it doesn't have the same logic for babies!