Fantasys

[mopbucket]

Dh is my one and only boyfriend we have been together for nearly 18yrs now
I have resently had some niggles and wished i had had more boyfriends or been on a girls hol etc
I recently nearly ended up sleeping with someone i met on the net but deleted him from my life without meeting him but my fantasy would be to sleep with another man even tho i adore DH and would never really do it
For those that have had more than 1 sexual partner what am i missing?????

You aren't missing anything. I think it's normal to think what if and have fantasies.

I think you need to stop connecting with other men to the point you nearly shag them, if you want to keep your husband that is. That's not a fantasy, it's an affair.

Nothing - sex is best with the man you love, all other sex for me has paled into insignificance

You could always fantasize that DH is a different man, he could be anyone with your eyes shut

I will go against the grain a little here. There's that thrill when you meet someone new, realise there's an attraction and flirt. It's fun, and if I'm honest I'd say that I do occasionally miss it. But I would say that's all.

Sex with someone you love, have a connection with, can relax with, and can communicate well with will always trump a one night stand or fling.

Is your sex life with him unsatisfactory? Because if not, all you're likely missing are a bunch of mediocre experiences with people you didn't love.

I don't know what to say about you considering sex with another man, I can't imagine I would ever be curious enough to risk losing my partner like that to fulfil a fantasy, it makes me wonder whether there's something else going wrong with your relationship.

No sex is good at least 6 times a week, its just i guess now my children are growing up (eldest left school the other week) i feel i missed out on my youth by meeting Dh so young but he is my best friend, the person i was chatting with i thought was female at first but then once i found he was male and it got sexual i cut contact guess i just thought what if and what have i missed

You're missing the good, bad and indifferent. Having one sexual partner is like only every eating at one restaurant. It's safe, enjoyable and you know the menu inside out but, if the chef doesn't keep up with the times, it's unlikely to ever surprise you.

Six times a week after at least 16 years? Has it got a bit mechanical and repetitive?

OP, I've had sex with loads of men and right now, I would swap what you have for what I have had!

I think you need to be careful.Ive seen what it has done to a man I know.His wife was probably about the same age as you are now,they had got married very young,when the kids were old enough for her to do her own thing,she started going on lots of girly nights out,and ended up leaving her DH and going off with another man.He was distraut.
Fantasy is one thing,but I should explore some fantasies with the man you have.

But what if the man in your example was a boring old fart and/or his wife was climbing the walls with frustration? Must everyone stay together at all costs? Never leave the house?

I'm sorry. 6 times a WEEK?

BTW OP... it's not too late to go on a girls' holiday. Your children don't sound like they need you 24/7. Have you ever seen Shirley Valentine? :) Obviously, you don't have to shag the waiter, but why not plan a bit of personal travel and see how independence feels for a week or two? Lots of people do it.

We do it about that, I have high sex drive so does DP. Never gets boring, there is variety and we try new things if either one of us thinks something up.

If you think about it if you were doing DIY job, you'd be more than likely to pretty much take the same route each time.

Your not missing out on a lot by the sound of things. You seem to have bagged yourself a good one .

Your missing out on fumbled generic sex which is middle of the road. Maybe the rare ( and I mean very rare) ground moving moment and more likely the overexcited over in 5 mins shag, where you left thinking is that it! Not many sexual encounters result in fireworks unless a real relationship is their.

Yes different sizes, styles and attitudes but in my experience the most passionate and satisfying encounters happen with someone you mutually love, trust and deeply want.

Without that sex becomes mechanical and lacks emotion.

Fantasies are brilliant things to keep the spark alive. Affairs and illicit sex become seedy, hurtful and the biggest dampener of passion.

Have fun with dh and keep things new. He sounds like a lot of fun . Your missing nothing!

Thanks ladies i would NOT cheat on DH and now i know the grass is not greener i will stay where i am

If you've got a good relationship and your sex life is highly fulfilling, it's very unlikely you're missing out on anything at all. It's a myth that passion has to die in long-term relationships, or that experienced lovers cease to be inventive.

Have you talked to your husband about whether he feels the same sometimes? Does he know about your 'near-miss'?

You mention never having holidayed with friends. Do you have a group of women friends you see regularly and do you both have separate interests? Sometimes if couples are too insular it can get cloying and one wants to break out a bit.

No female friends loads of people that i know i am treasurer at PTA im a scout leader i own my own business and work 60hrs per week so very busy but nobody i would consider going to have a brew with, i grew up with my dad and 2 brothers so had no females close i now have Dh and 2 sons

It is quite normal to have fantasies , but keep them like that and maybe spice up your love life with the man you love , the grass is not always greener.