Ah, where to start. Got a bit of background, but will briefly explain...
Me and dp have a 6 month old ds. My dp also has a 4 year old dd who lives an hour away. He also has 2 elder children who live an hour and half away.
Dp has had a habit of eloping his eldest dd the ins and outs of our relationship, or rows at least. He has a habit of doing the whole woe betide me thing though when telling them....believe me, he's done some shit things and has put me thru hell....but that is past and I am trying putting that behind us. Anyway, after arguing explaining that I didn't agree with him discussing stuff with his dd, that it makes me feel isolated when he wants me to go u there knowing that he's been slating me, and that after all, it's his dd and I didn't think it was appropriate, he agreed that he wouldn't discuss in future. There was a period where we split up, a brief period. I told dp that I was removing his family from Facebook before he gives them the woe betide me story and I am on the back end of a lot of abuse. However, I decided against this and removed myself with the view that when the dust had settled I'd hope things would be amicable, after all, our ds is their family. Dp and I reconciled. I reactivated my Facebook account and thought things were fine. However, his dd blocked me. I asked dp if he had discussed anything. He said no. I text his dd and asked if she'd come offmfacebook (I knew fine well she hadn't) or had she blocked me. Said I hopedive not upset her and I hope she's ok. She didn't respond. My dp says he spoke to her and she was unhappy that I had deleted her off Facebook and our ds is her db. I hadn't deleted her, however, had told dp that I would be deleting his family to avoid backlash and he had told her this. I text her saying that dp had explained, I can see her point of view. It was nothing personal, too, myself off as was dreading back lash. Didn't want anyone hearing half a story and me being on end of any shit. I'm sorry for upsetting you. I didn't hear anything. Days later dp says he'd spoken to his dd and everything was fine. We'd been playing a game, and she resigned from it which I thought was odd. Messages her saying you resigned? Couldn't handle the pressure haha. I'm guessing that it's not that and you are upset with me. I am sorry I upset you. I hae apologised, not sure what else I can say. I hope you calm down and forgive. I wasn't being horrible, honestly. If there is something that's really bothering you would like t talk. Do t want to fall out. Didn't hear anything back. Weeks passed, dp again told me everything was fine, she'd calmed down. I ask her for advice on ds, as she also has a ds. I asked her if her ds went off milk whe. He was teething as ds was doing so and didn't know whether it was teething or what. No reply. Message again days later saying you still pissed with me, man you get your stubbornness from your o,d man :) come on, what have I done, is is really unsortable? Don't want to fall out. If I have done something to justify this, would like to talk and sort things out. Expecting this to be ignore, won't bother you again. Hope you and little man are ok. No response.
All this started on 3rd may. I thought we got on.....obviously not that well. Dp has visited alone. She has now tod him that she didn't want to get involved in anything so she ignored me and she'd have ignored him too if she could but he's her df. I'm confused as to what she means by this as at no point have I attempted to get anyone involved in anything. She told dp that she would contact me.....she hasn't. I'm leaving the ball in her court. Short of begging her, I don't see anything else I can do.
Anyway........that's the brief background. So it's fathers day tomorrow. Dp had arranged to pick up youngest dd at 10.30am, get back here at around 11.30am......I had arranged a meal at 3pm. Eldest dd rings him today to ask him what he wants for fathers day. I ask if the elder dc are coming tomorrow. He says no, that he was meant to be going over there but has decided not to as picking youngest dd up late and skins (we had just put deposit on prof photos and he said that they'd expect to be taken out for a meal and he can't afford) I said, do you it think you should tell her. He rang her and she was understandably disappointed. She said that her ds was looking forward to seeing his dd, they are around the same age and wee play buddies, that her ds's dad has let him down and they are the ones always getting dropped. Apparently he'd been telling her all week he was coming then leaves it til last minute to cancel. I didn't know anything about this arrangement, he hadnt even told me. I said I can see exactly where she is coming from, not first time he's cancelled last minute. I said I was angry at the way in which he'd dealt with it. He said he didn't tell me coz he feels uncomfortable, like piggy in the middle. I have done nothing for him to feel this way. He said he thought I could be adult. I said I've been adult by apologising repeatedly to knowing what I've done to upset her and short of begging I'm not sure what he expects. I tell him I'll cancel what I had planned. He said you've got fuck all planned, nothing, you've got nothing planned. Starts swearing. Basically he messes up and it's my fault. He says he wants to take ds which I'm not happy with as he would be sat in car from 9.30am till 12.30pm. He's due lunch at 12pm and naps from 12.30 til 2.30pm, has a bottle and dp would need to set off just before 3pm as ds has swimming lesson at 4.30pm and his dd needs dropping home. On top of that ds does not like the car one bit, refuses to sleep in it unless he's screamed himself to sleep, I just think that out of 7 hours he'd be travelling for 4 and half hours and that would pretty much be spent screaming, he wouldn't sleep. I wouldn't however, stop him from taking ds on fathers day. He then tells me he'd bring ds back "when he was ready and not before"
I told him things were over.......god I was so angry, didn't mean it at all. I don't know what I'm more upset with...the way he handled his mess up or the fact that he feels he can't talk to me about stuff...... :(
He has a habit of trying to please everyone, says yes yes yes to everyone and I think that's what's happened here. I just don't know what he thinks I would have said if he'd have told me weeks ago that he was going to hull......if he thinks I'd say no you're not, he doesn't know me at all....that hurts so much