Am I stupid but don't love dh at all and want new life

[AnyaP]

I must sound so ungrateful compared to previous posts but I'm in a situation where I've been married to someone for two years because they paid me attention and I'm not good on my own. We have a lovely son who is sixteen months old. Thing is i don't love my husband at all, and want so much more from life. DH is a great father and a lovely person. Am I wrong to want love in a relationship or should I be grateful for what I have?

Anya are you sure you have fallen out of love
could it be that you feel like you are stuck in a rut??

Be grateful and stop moaning and get on with it.

Do you really want to bring your child up without a father or him just picking him up for McDonalds on a Saturday.

Get off the computer and work on your relationship. Does he love you?

ask yourself this

how would you feel if he ran off with someone else

I thought you could post a message here without the usual judgement. The first time I try and get some help from people I'm told to 'get off my computer' surely that is the whole point of this.

I'd be happy if he found someone then he could be looked after, I really care for him,but I don't love him. Am I in the wrong, I need help not judgement. Am I the only one going through this - surely not?

Anya.......I really am not judging you and I am sorry if you think I was.

I just meant that if your relationship is in such a crisis then maybe you should be working on it and not asking for help along the lines that you are.

None of us know you or your Dh or what your situation is but really, what has he done wrong and why would you want to split with him.

just lately there have been soooooo many MN relationships splitting up and I would love for one of them to be fixed without the split and for another child to be in a broken home.

what would happen if you and DH did split?

i'm not 'in love' with my husband. Sometimes it gets me down and i think its not 'normal' and i want something different, sometimes i moan about him, but ultimatly im staying because we provide a stable home for the kids and function as a family unit. we raise the kids together, have a laugh, work well as a team (i moan about him from time to time cos he can be an arse!) but i stay with him cos i dont want to be alone. i wouldnt be able to manage the kids, do all the house stuff or have enough money. the kids need a father and we dont row - we get on very well together in fact. i kind of love him - more matey iykwim, but i am certainly not all hot throbbing pulsating lustiness for him!

sometimes i get an attack of 'the grass is greener on the other side' and want a hearts and flowers relationship, but what i have is successful and i am not going to give that up.

i am not saying you should stay if thats not what you want, just that it can work! you dont have to be all trembley knee-ed to have a successful partnership.

perfect post M2pworth.

AnyaP I certainly don't think you should get off your computer at ALL - you are asking for some reasonable advice that is all. You are only on this life once and only have one stab at it. You have to be honest with yourself and your DH. Do you think he knows how you feel or would it come as a complete shock. I have separated after 11 years of marriage but certainly not lightly!!! When I realised I didn't love him anymore it wasn't fair on him, me or the kids - BE HAPPY

thank you all so much for your advice, I'm aware that what I have is so much more than others have. Got a bit arsey because I feel in the wrong. I'm going to take on board all you have said and try to sort it all out.Thank you, and no worries, we both hate McDonalds..