Hope I'm just being a twat..

[OfficialFlyingSquirrel]

Hello.
My lovely boyfriend is away on business (nothing new there) but this time I'm a bit jittery about it. He's gone to a 2 day conference, and last time he went to this conference (3 years ago) we were having problems. He made friends with a girl there, they got back from conference and started up a friendship. Nothing dodgy, but he was confiding in her about our problems and they got close. You know, a case of alomst emotional infidelity. To be fair she was fighting my corner and sticking up for me, but I reckoned this was her way of trying to get closer to him. I had warned him about this woman, and later I turned out to to right - she was indeed after him.
My worry is that a) she will be at said conference. Not that big a worry as we are in a much better place now. He will no doubt avoid her. and b) what if he meets a different girl and they become friends etc etc etc.
I think my problem is just that this reminds me of a bad time. And its the sort of conference where its also a bit of a jolly. You know, forced gaiety and 'let's push each other in the pool' business.
Sorry, just wanted to vent. We are TTC and not on unstable ground, but I still worry

I have a slightly different view on these things now. I used to worry ALL the time when DH (or past relationships) went away on business. Then I began my own business and went away on trips myself, and the worry is exactly the same for them as it is for us.

On these trips, some people do take advantage of being away from home etc. I've seen it many times. But these same people also cheat when an opportunity arises at home i.e. if they're going to cheat there, they'll cheat anywhere. But if you trust your partner, it should make no difference whether he is away on a business trip or popping out for bread.

Nowadays I don't worry. If a person's going to cheat, there's nothing I can do about it. I may never find out about it and if I do, they're not the person I thought they were anyway, so f&%k them. Now that I think that way, I feel much better (and stronger) about things and the worry is no longer there.

One more thing, don't ask about who was there etc when he comes back. Ask how it went and leave it at that. The rest only makes you crazy. And enjoy the 2 days of peace!! Go out with your friends and make sure he knows you're not just sitting pining after him. Let him worry a little lol!

I would say the same as Extrmum, life is too short to be worrying about whether something is going to happen or not, I know it aint easy cos I used to be like you and worried about the if whats scenarios, just try to relax and go out and see a friend , if he is worth his salt all will be fine.

A cheater is a cheater as the others have said. A friend of mine loved these type of conferences as it gave him the opportunity to cheat. However he also cheated regularly at home and whenever the opportunity arose.

I have been on many and never cheated despite there being plenty of opportunity.

I think its just best to do as the others have said and not question him on it. If you ask no questions then you wont punish yourself. If you start with " Was she there?" then it will torment you.

thanks all!
He clearly knows me very well, as he called me when he could last night to ask if i'm ok, and tell me what he's been doing and who he's ran into. No mention of bitchface, so I'm assuming she's not there. I have not asked!
I'm not worried about him cheating, I just don't like the idea of predatory women running after attached men. And he's not the sort to realise when a woman is trying to get into his pants (he thinks girls are just really friendly!)
No questions and interrogations - as someone (I think dolly parton) once said "If you want to keep your horse, give him a bigger field".
:)