Should be over the moon but past feelings getting in the way..

[nobutts]

HELLO! first post so thanks for reading.

bit long but..
Having divorced from an EA tosspot (married for 7, 1 DC) about 2 years ago i am no in an amazing relationship with my partner and am expecting DC2 hooray! .
Problem is I am paranoid about EXH ruining the relationship between our child and new baby when it comes.
EXH had an affair with a teenager 20 years younger - bleuuurgh! - they are still together - and they see DC every week. EXH is still a liar and a pr!k obviously but over time i have been less and less affected by his weird behaviour and actually at the moment things are pretty civil.In past 2 years he has quickly fallen into being 'superdad' - DC watches fighty films and plays computer games all the time (he's 5!) and EXH has a habit of drip feeding passive aggressive crap to DC. E.G ..we got a new cat and EXH says 'i don't like cats'. He keeps on talking to DC about how when him and the child/OW get married (yes i know! ) they'll all have the same name - unlike me (changes my name back and am happy with that) to DC This makes DC feel a bit awkward/ask questions and obviously and i'm used to smoothing things over. anyway. i should be enjoying this brilliant and joyous new start but something about the emotional preg hormones x my inside out knowledge of this ex - idiot has made me paranoid that he'll try to stir things when he finds out about DC2.."hope it's not a smelly girl" or similar. My question is..how can i protect us against this? and does the EXH ghost always crop up now and again when you're divorced and have kids ?
This doesn't really cover the extraordinary circustances of our break up that although i am very glad happened considering where i am now, was totally horrific.
thanks for any feedback and for generally listening.

p.s. if anyone wants the full script on EA/Affairs or any OW think they might have some 'advice' for wives - I'm your woman

EXH sounds like a typical EXH I'm afraid. I wouldn't worry what he says to your DC. When the new baby comes along, EXH will be second choice for ever more, regardless of how many fighty films or computer games he offers.

You're lucky in many ways that there is a good relationship between them. The EXH ghost will invariably crop up, but you don't have to protect yourself against it. Your life has so much more to offer than his. His will always be just a bit of fun to do now and again.

Thanks Extrem. I appreciate the kind words and i guess i've been so worried about DS1 feeling left out when the baby comes or jealous that it has both his mum and dad together that i forgot the most likely thing is he'll adore her/him! I think i am lucky that DS and Ex have a good relationship although the bitter pill swallowing and being the 'bigger' person for the sake of DS does take it's toll.