sisters......

[missmatched]

I dont know what to do,wwyd?

back story:I dont speak to my younger sister she is rude always had been growing up,but then at my wedding when she was rude to me and my guests I just decided enough was enough,noone who loves me should treat me like that.Anyway as it turned out it turned into abit of a falling out,she was the princess and mum and dad took her wow is me story over my I cant take it anymore,even though my mother wittnessed her rudeness on my wedding day and denined all knowledge,oh and they put it down to her being 36 weeks pregnant.I know pregnancy can make you hormonal but an out and out rude cow just doesnt cut it with me.This was 4 1/2 years ago.

My life since then has been bliss,no trouble,no stress just haveing a nice life with my husband and enjoying friendship with my older sister sure l missed my mum and dad,but in all honesty l feel like they bought into all her dramas,growing up she was never in the wrong and she used to play me and my older sister off all the time.my life was instantly less stressful.

Now,Im 38 weeks pregnant and I think I have sailed through it,I havnt felt the urge to be rude to anyone,except my dh when he only half heart rubs my acheing back.Now her son wants to meet me as my older sisters son talks about me to his cousin and about me haveing a baby,so my younger sister has asked my older sister would I meet him,but I think its abit unfair to him,its never going to be regular contact and when he is older wont he feel rejected about why I dont have regular contact with him.Me haveing a baby isnt going to change anything between me and my younger sister,she is far to high maintence for me,I know from my older sister who she gives a terrible time that she hasnt changed.

I dont want to be the cause of sadness for this little boy and I dont know what to do and I dont need stress from my sister either,lifes to short!!

wwyd??

Can you meet him at your older sisters if the younger one drops him off?

Can you not still have a relationship with your nephew or do you see this as your sister trying to push her way into your life again?

I know how you feel about having a toxic sister, when my exh walked out on me a few years ago. My dm got annoyed with me as I had forgotten to ask about a hospital appointment my sister had just had....wtf
My head was all over the place at the time and I was in complete shock and soo sad. He had walked out leaving me with two kids and here they thought I should be thinking about my sister before my children and myself.

How old are the children?

my younger sisters son is 4 1/2.I could see him at my older sisters,but I am worried about the effect it will have on him when he is older,because I know that it wont be regular contact,I suppose I am also worried about her trying to get back in my life aswell as I really dont think I could handle that.

Its a hard call for you though I think you should see your nephew at your other sisters and see how things go in the meantime. As I am sure when he is older he will wonder why his Auntie made time to see his other cousins and not him.

Hopefully your sister will let you do this without looking back into your life.

And if you have not tried you may always wonder what if???

good point twiggy.

lm just scared of inviteing stress and upset back into my life which i dont need.

lts crazy that parents dont treat children equally isnt it?...

I know in my parents eyes I was the one who could always supposedly cope while my sister couldn't .
In others words I just had to cope', family dynamics I guess are very hard to understand.

Hi there missmatched, I am going to be the lone voice of dissent (so far) and say no way in hell should you agree to meeting this little boy. As far as I can see, it would be opening up your doors to a whole lottta crazy. My younger sister was always really rude to me as well, and in our early 30's I gave her the heave-ho and cut her (and the 2 cousins that she manipulated) off. After many years, I realised that her rudeness was a way of controlling me.

Do not give your sister an opportunity like this - because that is the way she will view it, as a way to worm herself back into your life and start the control process again. Your nephew will not lack for anything in not knowing you, and he is not your responsibility. Do you really want to open yourself and your lovely family up to this particular set of crazy again?