I hope someone is able to offer some practical advice - Relations have been difficult with mother in law (and father in law though not so much) since I split up with her son 12 years ago. I have attempted reconciliations and regular contact with children aged 15 and 13 over the years but get frustrated with their dad?s no shows, let downs, neglect, choosing alcohol and gambling over his kids and non-payment of maintenance. MIL refuses to criticise him and offers no moral support, babysitting or financial assistance, yet wants to turn up on birthdays and special occasions and ?show off? her beautifully mannered and well bought up children that I have worked hard to turn into happy, well balanced people ? you can see how proud of them I am, they light up my life.
The older child (son) gets left out and has distanced himself from that side of the family, but daughter is determined to continue seeing them, despite getting furious at regular last minute let downs and sadness that I have had to cope with since she was a toddler over the lack of effort on their part.
Now grandmother wants to take her and other grand daughter (aged 14 with loose morals) to Spain for week?s holiday. I am worried about two young girls having freedom and wondering around Spanish resort with little monitoring or attention to general safety (I?m considered paranoid and overprotective and according to ex ?need to chill). The whole trip has been done on the cheap (they will be sharing room with grandmother) and scant regard will be given to sun protection etc (me being paranoid again!), travel insurance? Why would they organise that?
If her parenting skills produced such a useless individual that I was stupid enough to choose for the father of my children then is this a direct reflection on her grand mothering skills? Please can someone tell me if I should really just ?chill? or do I have a valid reason to say no to the holiday? Thanks!