Heartbroken, can't stop crying.

[WorryDoll]

Last night DP, while we were rowing told me he has absolutely no respect for me and hasn't had for months.

I sent him to his mums, have been ignoring the various horrible texts telling me it's my own fault and if I want him to respect me I have to earn it. I've now blocked his number, deleted it from the address book and set my phone so that it only receives texts from numbers in the phone book.

I feel so fucking stupid. He's been telling me he loves me, we've had sex, he's slept in my bed, we've planned a holiday, he's been telling my kids that we're planning for him to move back in with us next year (he moved out 18 months ago and we had couples counselling for a while to sort things out). I feel so used, and so stupid. I feel humiliated and angry and really bloody hurt I have nobody I can talk to and I don't know what I'm supposed to do now.

I just can't stop crying and I really have to, my kids will be home from school soon.

You weakened, that's all. It's only human to not want to be lonely. We've all made crappy choices in those circumstances. What you should be really proud of, however, is that you acted promptly when he showed his true colours. Think how bad it would have been if he'd been back living with you!!! The door is now well and truly shut and you won't make the same misake again. Good riddance, eh?

Dry your eyes. Have a brew. Give your kids a massive hug and tell them the change in plans when you're ready. No rush.

You have to earn his respect . What is it you are supposed to have done to lose this hard to gain respect? And will he be so kind as to let you know when you have done enough to regain his respect? I think I would lose respect for him at this point tbh. Knob.

Cogito has summed it up pretty well I think. Much better to receive definite confirmation that he is in fact a complete arse now rather than when he'd moved back in. Obviously you'd have preferred to never receive such confirmation, but unfortunately that does not seem to be an option :(

Well done on behaving decisively. Your kids don't need to spend time with someone like that and IMO you did the right thing for both yourself and and them booting him out.

I get what you mean about feeling used and hurt; I once had a brief fling with an ex who'd been pleading for me to take him back for months and months and had finally worn me down. The day afterwards, he phoned up and said his current girlfriend (whom he'd dismissed as anyone serious and I'd believed him because....) would be really sad if he dumped her, so "could we actually just stay broken up"?

I was furious with myself for believing his lies and having been so gullible (as I perceived it). However I now realise that it's not a crime to want to believe someone when they're saying nice things, and that you need to be gentle with yourself. He is the one at fault here, not you.

Un-mumsnetty hugs.....