need to leave dh, he wont go. ok. so what about sorting out finances. they are a mess

[cthewood]

i have in the past been to cab, about him being rehoused and was told no, he was entitled to remain housed as we are in housing association. she poohpoohed my explanation that he drunk.
anyway, so i gather we need to leave him. get rehoused .
but we are in big trouble financially.
his credit card about 8 thous.
bank, also a loan, taken out to get rid of previous credit card.
i am paying back loan.
we both work part time.

what shoudl we do, about the finances.

Who's name is on the debts? If its all in his name, you don't need to worry about them (harsh but true!) as they are HIS debts and it won't impact on you!

well we have a joint bank account and loan with debts.
major debt is in his name.
which he can't pay back in a month of sundays.

HA shouldn't be in a position where he gets to stay in a family home...while you do what? They can't tale responsibility for housing you both!

You both work, it should bs possible to split

Speak to your HA for tenancy advise. Look in your tenants handbook, it should tell you.

what are ou saying tennis?

i am on the list. i have yet to ring to let them know my requirements. we are joint tennants.
of course he shouldnt remain in the fmaily home but he wont budge - he does have rights according to CAB.
but the finances.
is this cab again?

Can you speak to Shelter? They are normally incredibly helpful.

Debts that are in his name you leave with him. Its not your problem if he can't pay them. He will have to go to cab himself or sort it out as he would if you were single.

Joint debts you need to see a solicitor about - it may be that you are both liable if the other stops paying. If neither of you can pay then you will need to write to those you owe money to and propose a reduced payment schedule. They may accept something rather than nothing.

Make sure you separate yourself financially as much as you can.

It can be done. My ex left me in 26k of debt!

Is he a mean drunk? Is he an alcoholic?

i dont know if he is an alcoholic. i spose he probably is. he is sober for 8 weeks,then blotto for 2 weeks, or sometimes 3 or 4.
for the last 2 years this has been going on.

i have been on the shelter website, that is helpful. so i can;t get rehoused! once i leave the tenancy is over. i didnt realise.

Have a look at www.moneysavingexpert.com. There is a forum which is very helpful regarding debts, etc.

You might be able to get an occupation order and stay in your home while he leaves: england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/families_and_relationships/relationship_breakdown/occupation_orders

If not you should be high priority on the rehousing list, so appeal if you aren't at least the second band down (I was, while living with my abusive husband).

But you have more leverage than I did as you are joint tenants. Fortunately my husband eventually agreed to turn over the tenancy to me and leave (I was pregnant).

His debt is not your problem. The joint one keep evidence that you have been paying it off, and get legal advice on that.

if he leaves will he get housing benefit? he and i both will need housing benefit.
many questions i know but you are all so knowledgeable so far.

i am low priority on the rehousing.

nothing to add sorry as i dont live in the UK , so just bumping this for you .

Good luck .

thanks