Ok, bear with me, this is going to be quite long!
Yesterday DH found he had blood in his wee, so made a GP appointment. He said it felt the same as when we discovered we both had chlamydia not long after we got together, 9 years ago. He'd only had one previous sexual partner (and they'd both been virgins when they met) and I had a bit of a 'history', so it was almost definitely me that gave it to him.
Just before he went out to his appointment, he said to me, "The GP will ask me if there is any possibility of an STD. I know what you're going to say, but is there?"
My reply was, "No, there damn well isn't."
He knows it upset me, and said that he only asked 'for completeness', as if it was something like chlamydia again, and went untreated, one or both of us could end up infertile, and that he would have expected me to ask him in similar circs.
I wouldn't have asked him, if it were me with symptoms. I know I haven't cheated, and I know without asking that he hasn't.
I'm upset that he felt the need to ask. I'm not just upset at him, but having thought about it, I'm also upset with myself, that over the past 9 years I haven't done anything to change his opinion of me. And that we started off in a position where he might doubt me.
He knew when we got together that I had had a number of one-night stands and casual sexual relationships. We were both still with our exes when we initially got together, so both cheated on the exes at the start of this relationship. And possibly the crucial bit - when we'd been seeing each other a couple of months, I kissed my ex. I told him, and nearly lost him, but we got over it and have been solid ever since. But I've always kind of known that I'm already on my second chance, and it still upsets me that I did it. I don't know if DH ever thinks about this.
I'm not sure what I'm asking here - maybe just a different perspective on the situation.