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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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2 replies

mrsalwaysawake · 12/06/2012 10:21

Ok, bear with me, this is going to be quite long!

Yesterday DH found he had blood in his wee, so made a GP appointment. He said it felt the same as when we discovered we both had chlamydia not long after we got together, 9 years ago. He'd only had one previous sexual partner (and they'd both been virgins when they met) and I had a bit of a 'history', so it was almost definitely me that gave it to him.
Just before he went out to his appointment, he said to me, "The GP will ask me if there is any possibility of an STD. I know what you're going to say, but is there?"
My reply was, "No, there damn well isn't."

He knows it upset me, and said that he only asked 'for completeness', as if it was something like chlamydia again, and went untreated, one or both of us could end up infertile, and that he would have expected me to ask him in similar circs.
I wouldn't have asked him, if it were me with symptoms. I know I haven't cheated, and I know without asking that he hasn't.

I'm upset that he felt the need to ask. I'm not just upset at him, but having thought about it, I'm also upset with myself, that over the past 9 years I haven't done anything to change his opinion of me. And that I put myself in the position that any

OP posts:
COCKadoodledooo · 12/06/2012 11:30

Bless you. Fwiw, I think he asked the question because he knew the doctor would ask him, and like he said he knew what the answer would be. Fwiw every time I give blood (once a year minimum) I ask dh the relevant screening questions, even though I have no doubts at all about his fidelity. No idea why I do it btw, but now if I don't he asks why I haven't asked him!

mrsalwaysawake · 12/06/2012 13:58

Oops, I seem to have posted part of this twice!
See other thread 'one about trust' for the rest of the story!

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