When should I look at dating?

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I am getting divorced and will be very relieved when its done. The marraige was a poor excuse for one and although we have two amazing children we still couldn't make it work.

I have speant over a year grieving for the loss of our relationship and making the decision to divorce gave me a feeling of huge relief.

At the moment I find myself checking out virtually every man I walk past and am thoroughly enjoying the free reign to window shop.

My body confidence isn't good though, and am not sure how much I have to say to another man right now.
Imagine going on a date and boring him silly with how my marraige failed.
Though of course I would be careful not to do that.

I guess as I've been out of the dating world for so long I've no idea how fun and interesting I need to be!!

Will I know when I'm ready to go on actual dates or do I need to just try and see?

I'm a great believer in "try and see".

However, I do have a caveat of warning in that if you are feeling vulnerable or a tiny bit desperate (checking every man out!!) etc. you can get into choppy waters in the dating world without realising it.

I would say, if you are feeling energetic and up for it, go for it but - speaking from my own experience.

1. take it slowly
2. think about what you really think of the person you are with etc.

However, if you have go out of a marriage that wasn't great you may be clearer about what you are looking for.

And, though it is not always possible, its good to do things that you find interesting and socialise as much as possible (hard if you don't have childcare) as this will also broaden out your horizons.

I slept with someone when we'd separated but still living together. Maybe two weeks after the relationship ended? I was a bit of a slut for a year and dated properly about 15 months after we broke up.

A girlfriend was celibate for over two years after breaking up with her fiancé.

Both were the right thing to do for each of us.

If I were you, I'd spend a bit of time pampering yourself now so that you feel good about yourself and venture into it gently, I think you'll find its very good for your confidence when you do go on a few dates and then you'll be able to start working out what you do and don't want to get out of it. I did this when my self-esteem was pretty low after I separated and the attention and compliments made me feel a whole lot better.

Good luck

When me and my ex broke up, for the first year, i wanted to be just me, find myself so to speak. I found out the things that i enjoyed, the things that i liked. I did have a '*uck buddy' which for me, suited me and was just what i needed. It helped build my confidence, with no stress and was obviously enjoyable too lol. It was possibly a year and a bit after being seperated that i realised i was ready for more. Then started dating. Have been with my OH for 2 years now (split from ex in feb 2009)
Good luck in what you decide is best for you :)

I still think you need to look after yourself for a bit longer. Anyone "healthy" will not want to listen about your past, really they won't. So maybe a bit more work on yourself would be good.

Yeah I think I was getting a bit carried away. I really do want to devote a year or two to looking after myself.

I have 2 stone to loose and that would boost my confidence.

I would enjoy a 'fuck buddy' but no idea how that would ever happen as I have no current candidates!

You def need time out to heal. Take care of yourself and DC's. Find who you are! The only things I was most certain of when my H left was those things.
When you feel happy and content with your life and you are completely healed then I think its time, well in my view anyway :)
Dont worry about being boring, just be you and enjoy.
'Friends with benefits' is a different story.
Good luck :)

I think it's different for everyone. I stayed single - and celibate by choice - for about 5 months after exH and I split up. Then I thought I was ready but actually I wasn't, I was still too fragile. Dating can be a double edged sword. It can boost your ego a bit, but it can also make you feel very insecure if you're not feeling confident and are bothered by rejection (as I was).
My recommendation would be to spend about 6 months really working on yourself, finding out who you are again (I know this sounds so California Pysch Speak, and I apologise!), and really looking after yourself as well as you can. Work on maintaining existing friendships and meeting some new friends too.
It can be quite exhilirating to find yourself single again - enjoy it!