Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Am I being unreasonable

8 replies

drinksonme · 23/02/2006 13:00

I have recently separated from my husband and have two children. I have a very caring Mum and Dad who have done an awful lot for me! My question is I like to play squash and ask my parents to have my children on a Wednesday while I play squash. I go straight from work at 5.15 and I am expected to get back for 8.30pm. I pay for a membership at this club and like to take advantage of the sauna, steam afterwards. Then I have a shower and would love to have a quick drink with my friend afterwards.Getting back for 8.30 is therefore really hard and I find myself being more stressed then if I didn't go. When I arrived back last night my dad was waiting outside looking out for me. It really upset me as I don't ask them to babysit any other night and we had a falling out. This may seem really selfish but I am still going thru a very stressful time with my separation and just need this Wednesday to keep me a little sane. Am I being really unreasonable? I am thinking of not bothering to go anymore.

OP posts:

joanna4 · 23/02/2006 13:08

Maybe your dad was worried about where you had got to .Can you not speak to tem explain how you feel.

joanna4 · 23/02/2006 13:08

Maybe your dad was worried about where you had got to .Can you not speak to them explain how you feel.

joanna4 · 23/02/2006 13:08

Maybe your dad was worried about where you had got to .Can you not speak to them explain how you feel.

heavenis · 23/02/2006 13:09

I don't think your being unreasonable.
They were maybe just worried about you. Could you have a chat and explain that you really appricate all they do but sometimes it's hard to get back on the dot of 8.30.
Would the children be able to sleep overnight at their house. Do you think they may not like going back to their house if it's getting late.
I wouldn't stop going just have a chat a see what arrangement you can come to.

joanna4 · 23/02/2006 13:22

sorry everything slowed up.

compo · 23/02/2006 13:24

Maybe they like to get home early? Could you ask someone else to take over at 8.30pm, perhaps advertise for a babysitter? Or could your husband help out on a Wednesday?

Original poster

drinksonme · 23/02/2006 13:37

I will have to talk to them again but they have seen me rock bottom so I would have thought they would understand without me having to explain again. It would be wonderful if they would have them overnight on a Wednesday but I feel I can't ask, wouldn't they offer if they didn't mind? I am thinking of asking my husband to have them but he is going away soon so it wouldn't be for long. I would hate to give it up as it is something I really enjoy and it is me time.

OP posts:

saadia · 23/02/2006 14:31

I would just explain things to them as you have done here and see what they say. Give them the opt-out option, if it's too much for them say you'll look into making alternative arrangements.

But they are your parents, I would have thought that even if it was slightly inconvenient they would help.

Also I have found that I myself am more happy to help people out if they ask nicely and show appreciation rather than if they are presumptious about it - BTW I'm not saying that you are being presumptuous but just maybe it would help everyone if you told them clearly what you want and why.

Flip