Certain he's texting but nothing else

[justwanderingalong]

I know this has been done and dusted before but just need confirmation that I'm not going crazy and his behaviour is a tad suspicious.

Mainly it's his phone. For the past month maybe more it has never been out his site. He's constantly got it on silent and if I casually ask what he is doing he'll respond he's checking news sites or on fb even though he is clearly typing away. The other niggle is that I have access to his fb (he doesn't realise this) and he blatantly lied to me over the weekend saying he was talking to his Brother on fb when he wasn't. The problem is if I confront him about this he'll know I've been checking his fb.

I have confronted him about who he is texting and he denied everything and then hours later showed me his phone which by then didn't have any texts even from me on it as he claimed he deletes daily to keep memory usage down.

Am I going crazy

Out his sight even. Monday mornings are not my strong point

Why would you be going crazy ?

He is showing supicious behaviour and then denying it.

That doesn't make you crazy....but it does make him dodgy

Also he has previous for chatting up other woman on-line. A few months ago I caught him red handed pretending to be single chatting to a much younger girl. We put it behind us on the understanding that it would never happen again.

Sorry do not mean to drip feed.

His mood has been funny over past week or so. One minute he will be happy next he'll just go into a mood and when he's asked what wrong will just snap back "nothing"

To tell the truth deep down I know that he'll never change just doubting myself.

what a surprise, he has form

Even though you think its only online/texts, it is still cheating.

As long as you allow him to get away with it, he will not change.

He needs to experience loss in order to make him want to change and that means you telling him he has to leave.

You're not going crazy. It's a sad day when you realise that you've wasted your time on a lying little shit who doesn't respect you enough to keep a promise and goes into a mood when challenged. I'd tell him about the FB discovery so that a) he knows he's been caught out and b) you can see him in his true colours. He really doesn't deserve any more chances.

The fact that he showed you his phone 'hours later' with no messages on it is as bad as a confession to me! Sorry but I would be very suspicious without the previous form. With it, its a no brainer. x

You obviously don't trust him by the fact that you are checking up on his FB page. Why are you with him?

Why are you with someone who pretends you don't exist? The sheer lack of respect is astonishing!

I can't ask him to leave as the tenancy is in his name. Truthfully that is probably the main reason why I am still with him.

Ok no one deletes messages to keep memory down - that's him hiding. He thinks he is so clever, vile rat

It starts off as only texting..,..buy even this is unnaceeoravle disrespectful cheating abd it would hurt me deeply knowing my DH was interested in someone else.

Don't accePt this behaviour

I have no one that I could stay with. I could get money together for my own place but would take some time. I also want to stay within the immediate area so kids are not put through to much disruption.

The house is local authority. He's not the father of my DC.

I need to go into LA offices anyway so will ask to speak with them or get an appointment. Want to avoid going down homeless route as would be a lot of upheaval for my DC.

What an arse! Used to have all this with my ex boyf. Used to get remarks like 'the fairy godmother' when asked who he was txting. Always turned his phone upside down and i didn't know the locking pin. If I ever did get my hands on it, there was always something there! In hindsight he was very low in self esteem and jumped at any attention he got. 5 years I put up with it. I did believe it was very likely to only be txts, and after a recent bump into one another, he admitted he kissed one of these girls. It came back to bite him in the bum when I met my now husband and left him! He was distraught. Silly boy! Anyway... Don't put up with it. He wont change, he's had his chance! Even if it Is just txts. U deserve a whole lot more! Xxx

That's a good idea, love

speak to the housing office and tell them your relationship has irretrievably broken down, see if they can come up with something

Housing benefit and some sort of loan to get you in somewhere ?

I'm not sure but think there is a scheme where they guarantee deposit if private let and pay it back over a set period. Going to try find out more about it