Am I being silly here?

[atosilis]

My husband is obsessed that I have loads of money. I work full-time, he is retired. I have had to pay for a new boiler and double glazing. I need a break after 3 yrs of work but he won't let me visit my friend in Dublin because I am either lying and stashing money or we can't afford it. Do I just go ' fucking shut the fuck up' or just carry on with work? I do not have loads of money, just want a break with a friend who will still talk to me.

honest answer...

buy a one way ticket to Dublin.

:-)

I second that!

Don't bother saying a fucking word. Just fuck the fuck off to Dublin and plot with you friend how you're going to get rid of the fucker.

Dublin, here I come! I am beginning to feel that he is my pimp. I go out to work while he watches sky sports. His pension is more than my salary. He can lie and fart and earn more per hour than me!

What is the point of him? I don't really get it.

Yes you should go to Dublin & work out all the ways you can enjoy the money you grafted for yourself. Then do it!

We aren't about to find out he's creating like this due to his massive gambling debts are we? It's bad enough to be a nasty, financially (& sounds like va/ea) abusive control freak...oh and lazy, but they so often are. Is he just paranoid or is he projecting on to you?

I also assume your friends don't speak to you due to a combination of disliking him and being frozen out under his orders?
You deserve more than a week in Dublin my love.

After a sojourn in Dublin, there's Barcelona, Seville, Nice, Venice, Rome... more than enough warm weekend destinations to redress the balance of a new boiler and double glazing

If he thinks you're stashing money you might as well do it. :) Hung for a sheep as a lamb and all that. Build up a nice big savings account somewhere and call it your 'escape fund'. He sounds like a miserable, lazy, controlling bugger. Enjoy your holiday.

he won't let you visit your friend???

Says it all really. You are an adult and don't need permission.

Dublin's a great idea, if he's short of cash and has a lot of free time, perhaps its time he did something about it? He's probably spending too much time sitting at home bored while you're out at work, not your problem tho. Izzy's got the right idea ...

I used to go away loads when he was working but you're right about hating being left on his own. I stayed in with him all yesterday and we watched Sky sports ALL Day :-) He's had to go and spend a couple of days with one of our daughters and I am going to have such a lovely evening of sheer chill!

The fact that he has agreed to go and help is a miracle so fingers crossed that change is in the air.

Why won't your other friends still talk to you?

Oh, and definitely go to Dublin!

I should have rephrased that to 'who I'm still in contact with'. We've moved around a lot and my friends are all over the place. It's nearly always a weekend trip to see any of them. Since I've been working I haven't had the time to keep in regular contact. I haven't got a 'drop in for coffee/meet in the pub' local friend. Not the smallest violin in the world but just saying like....

I seem to recall that you posted in the not too distant past about your alcoholic not very 'd' h.

I also seem to recall that it was your intention to have sold your unwanted possessions on eBay with a view to having left him by now.

As your dc are adults and none of them live at home, what's keeping you stuck in the rut of same old?

Why waste more years of your life in an unfulfilling and unhappy relationship?

Just go to Dublin, that will give you the space you seem to need to sort out in your head if you want to stay in this relationship good luck.

What do you get out of this relationship? You don't have to stay you know. You sound so resigned to it and lacking in any warmth or love for your H (unsurprisingly based on what you've posted).