Anyone else have an adult sibling who still lives at home with parent(s)?

[bibbitybobbityhat]

My db is in his early 30s and has never left home.

I think this is remarkable, although I have never said anything to him or the parent concerned about it.

He does not have any sn and the parent he lives with is fit and able bodied.

I think the set up suits them both, but I feel it is just not ideal somehow.

I want to say something to the sibling ... would that be wrong?

Yes I do, although there are some underlying long term health issues clouding the issue.
They all moan and complain about each other but i can't see how it will change.

My brother moved back in with my parents two years ago, following what I think was a breakdown. He apparently suffers from anxiety and was on ADs for a while, though has now stopped. He isn't working, isn't claiming JSA or HB and my parents give him cash as and when he needs it. He occasionally cooks a meal and does a few jobs around the house but needs a kick up the arse to do that.None of them are happy with the situation but I am when I hear my brother complaining about his situation when in fact he's bloody lucky with his lot.

My parents are getting increasingly fed up with the situation but any discussion of 'what next?' is met with defensiveness and anger from my brother. He won't do any job that he feels is beneath him yet he's been unemployed for two years and will soon find he's unemployable in the current market. He recently stayed with me and did some work experience with my company, but shot himself in the foot by being completely capable and handling the situation without any apparent anxiety apart from a little nervousness before starting, same as anyone in a new job. So there is really no reason for him not to work, he's proved there's nothing holding him back.

Unfortunately I think my parents allowed him to think that a job might be forthcoming out of this, which is completely unrealistic as we are in the midst of redundancies and he has next to no relevant experience so he'd be at the back of the queue. I think he has quite serious depression; he's had counselling and is undergoing CBT but he's refused to go onto ADs again. I don't really know what to do. He's going to come and do more work experience with me but although it boosts his confidence a bit it doesn't help with the basic issue of him refusing to try to find work. If I was unemployed I'd be applying to every job I could just to bring some money in so I guess he has just completely lost his confidence.

Actually thinking about it I know a few guys that live/lived at home with parents for longer than usual.

My older brother is still living with mum and dad, he is 33, a musician and never has any money. My mum feels guilty that I had to pay keep and he never has, but it doesn't bother me.

My uncle always kept his room and most of his stuff at my grandparents house (although flitted between there and his rented flat in London).

My BIL (49) lives with MIL. The arrangements suits them both and they split all costs. I believe he owns half the house.

DH didn't move out til he was 32. He started work and saved and bought his first house.

I'm hoping its just a boy thing, we've got DDs

My 34 year old brother has always lived with my parents. Doesn't work so doesn't pay rent. Not worked in 16 years actually. They support him. They told me and other siblings (2 brothers) that when they die, the house will be left solely to this one brother as he needs it more than us.

My DSIS moved back home when her flat mate married. She hates being on her own.

Mostly she and my parents seem to rub along fine. She's always worked, helped out and paid her keep.
As our parents are getting on she ends up doing bits of caring too.

Somehow she never found the right man, very sad because she would have made the perfect wife and mother. She's way more patient than me. Also I know she deeply regrets not having DCs.

My brother lived with mum and dad until his late 30s, now he is married and lives with his DW. I think if all concerned are happy it's no one else's business.

If they are both happy why say anything?