prurient question about enjoying boring sex

[anotherprurientquestion]

I have name changed for this. (Someone was already called prurientquestion!) Basically I want to know if I am the only person who really enjoys really straightforward sex - missionary position, doesn't last very long, but very satisfying (I almost always come, often first). Every now and again my DP brings it up and suggests we try some other stuff which we do for a few times and I know I should be probably be more open to this but I just find straightforward sex with him so satisfying and reliable somehow - it is just always really good and I love doing it regularly. Am I alone? I was a bit of a late starter with sex and have never enjoyed it so much with anyone else. I also have some physical issues that make other positions not impossible but a bit trickier to negotiate. Any gentle suggestions for how to branch out a bit?

Feel really stupid for posting this as hardly a problem but have wondered for ages how unusual it really is.

Probably not that unusual but never forget that sex is a game of give and take, and it doesn't pay to be selfish.

I am with you! strictly missionary for me, although this is more due to the fact that I find other positions painfull (vaginismus) and that I have a zero sex drive

I can only think it woild be an issue if your dh thought it was a problem

I was like this with XH. We did do other stuff, but it was always very straightforward and formulaic. It really worked. I came from penetration alone, every time (usually do, not just him). It was very good and very easy. It was also a real curse for us/me. Am now in a relationship in which I seldom come from sex and it's fantastic. I have learned, and enjoyed so so much, from giving up orgasms as my end goal/measure of satisfaction and not taking the quick and most direct route to them.

With regards to suggestions, are the things he suggests things you could do? Would start with those.

it's not "boring" if you both enjoy it

don't do yourself down (and don't make the mistake that if you aren't getting whipped within an inch of your life, getting pissed on, sworn at, doubly penetrated, shagged up the arse etc) then you are not having a fulfilling sex life

how about you on top ? I am very fond of that one. Lots of other areas to pay attention to simultaneously and most people can manage it physically with a bit of assistance/modification

Can i ask those of you who come by penetration, what is it like? I mean where do you feel the pleasure? Clitorally or vaginally?

I'm with you, I always really enjoyed the good old missionary with my now ex. I'm not a fan of me on top, mainly because I feel too exposed, as it were, though that might be more to do with said ex having made several negative comments about my weight :(

ew, yuk, KG, that would put anyone off

I am glad he is your ex

I should have suffocated him with whichever part of me he felt was "porky" (he never did elaborate so I guess it was all of me). What a tool, he was hardly Mr Motivator himself!

Sorry! Thread hijack! ;)

Another thread hijack but I really used to love being on top but we got out of the habit and now can't seem to do it! It's a bit embarrassing really. I don't think we like each others pace or movement IYKWIM and DH ends up losing his erection. We should really talk about it I suppose but I get a bit shy.

aww, that's a shame, jet

we went off it for while (dunno why) but it came around again < ahem >

Thanks everyone. I had vaginismus for a long time too which is partly what puts me off other positions but I've never really explained this properly to DP, probably should. In any case I am pregnant at the moment so I guess we're going to have to experiment a bit when I start getting a lot bigger anyway, maybe a good opportunity. Really hope the sex is still as good after giving birth, bit worried about that.

poopoo for me it feels quite different to a clitoral orgasm, more internal somehow but I'm pretty sure it is the combination of internal and external stimulation that does it, plus some psychological elements maybe though not sure about that.

I can see that if it wasn't as easy we'd have to make more of an effort in a way and that that might not be an entirely bad thing. I do appreciate the reliability though!

I suppose we are just out of practise. I think next time we get jiggy I will give it a whirl in a manner of speaking. I loved it as it was a guarenteed orgasam.

try reversing, jet

HHmm didn't think of that. Gosh he won't know whats hit him!

hehe

Can i ask those of you who come by penetration, what is it like? I mean where do you feel the pleasure? Clitorally or vaginally?
Both, but pretty much mostly vaginally - that's where the orgasm happens. Clitoris generally needs very indirect stimulation.

I've not had sex for several millennia now, but did a hell of a lot of it before. I'm pretty boring, certainly by what I gather to be contemporary standards! I think I'm quite good at it (leaving out kinks, which I'm very bad at) and fortunate in that it comes easily, iyswim.

I've only ever had marked orgasmic contractions while I've been 'sitting' on top. However, they didn't feel very orgasmic and, tellingly, my partners didn't notice. I've usually felt a lot more orgasmic - and my partners have felt it - with absolutely no internal thumping at all. I worried about this for a while, then decided the thumps are probably happening but I'm too preoccupied to notice

I come from penetration, too. It's untrue that there aren't any nerves in there. Take a look at an UP TO DATE diagram of a clitoris - the thing is huge!

To be a bit more experimental, I think you need a playful attitude and circumstances in which you can 'lose' yourself a bit - so, no fears of interruption, not too much light if you're self-conscious, being warm enough and comfy enough. I'm sure this isn't good advice, but alcohol can help.

I've got a lively imagination and use it freely during sex. But, for me, it's just about trying on different emotional states, not escaping from reality: I can't stand sexy role-play! Different positions, speeds, textures and so on can be very pleasurable. The main thing is to stay comfortable.

Those looking for ideas could do worse than read teenage women's magazines. We all have to get tips from somewhere!