My father has never met my daughter

[floppops]

I'm not sure what I am asking. Perhaps just to see if anyone else has similar experiences. I have done some searching-google and on mums net threads and can't see anything quite the same.
My father has never wanted to meet my DD, she is now 2. I have sent him pictures and asked him over for meals and to her birthdays but he has refused.
I am a single mum with little support and find it really strange that he doesn't want to even see her-she is his only grandchild.
He hasn't wanted any contact with me for years. He got married without telling me. He moved quite far away without also telling me. I found out both of these things when his wife sent me a change of address card.
What would make a father not want to see his daughter again or meet his granddaughter?
We didn't have a falling out or anything. He just stopped contacting me and became distant-ignoring emails, phone calls etc.

What kind of relationship did you have with him growing up?

Is it to do with your mother? Sorry if that's hurtful but it seems strange. Were you actually close before?

We were really close when I was young. My parents divorced when I was 11. My mum was or is an alcoholic till she got sober when I was 18. I moved out-ran away to my dads when I was 15 and lived with him till I was 25. We were close, I thought we had great relationship. Don't think it's to do with my mum, they didn't have much contact after their divorce. He doesn't have any contact with her, my sister or me now.
Yes does seem strange-I don't understand it either.

He's either very selfish or he thinks you'd be better off without him in your life. My ex FIL did this. Widower with five adult children, he met a much younger woman with two small children, married her and then promptly proceeded to ignore his first family. I got the impression that he was rejecting his old life and trying to reinvent himself, running away from past problems. His new wife was very keen that the adult family should stay away and 'stop bothering him'. Quite nasty she was. The grown-up kids certainly had problems - the early death of their mother for one - and he wasn't a very emotionally strong man so that could have been a factor

Did your parents split up or was he also a widower?

No my parents are divorced. My mum still going strong.
He certainly is ignoring his first family . I don't know but I suspect he has a new one now with his wife and her children and grandchildren.
Just seems odd to not want to even see your own flesh and blood-just once even.
It's true my sister has her own problems, she has personality disorder. So perhaps it is all too hard for him.
Still he could have come to his granddaughters first birthday party.

I've heard of this happening before - particularly with men. The man finds a new partner, and basically acts like his first family doesn't exist. It's horrible and I can't understand how anyone could do it. Have you asked him directly why he hasn't seen his granddaughter?

Are you my sister?

My father has never seen his grandchildren, I am not 100% sure he knows about them, but I bet he does. He cut all contact with me when I was 21, when he gave me a cheque for £50 and wished me a happy life.

I have recently found out I have an older half sister too which is quite odd.

Personally, if you can find a way to, then I would let it and him, go. If you have the opportunity, some councelling would probably be very helpful.

Our kids have never met my partner's dad.

My partner's parents divorced when he was 2yrs old and his dad travelled round the world with his career most of the time but my partner did spend nearly every school holiday and certainly the 6 week Summer holiday with him and they were really close.

His dad has never had other children or a steady relationship so there's not another family to consider.

I think he has a Peter Pan thing going on and cannot stand the thought of not being youthful ( tied up in his career). So to be grandfather is a no-no.

I just keep sending emails and letters at Christmas. I think it hurts my partner more than he lets.

The other year his dad emailed me some photos of his new home and on the wall of his study were loads of the photos of our children. I nearly cried. So he does give a damn and is interested but will never let us know that.

I think your assessment is probably right. It's almost like they go into a self-imposed Witness Protection Programme. Do you call him (or his wife) for chats on the phone or is that not possible?

Nope not your sister gobblers! :)

Yes you're right finding a way to let it go is the best advice. Just comes back to me sometimes..

I haven't asked him outright - too scary. I have emailed him a few times but I rarely get answers. I am ashamed to say I'm too cowardly to ask him over the phone.

Plus I haven't spoke to him directly since my ex partner insisted on meeting him when I was 5 months pregnant- he wouldn't let us in the house-made some excuse. We had to go to a pub and listen to him talking about himself for a couple of hours and that was the last time I spoke to him.

My father hasn't seen or met my ds who is 10 this year. He and my mother got divorced when I was 15 and I have seen him very occasionally, but not at all in the last 11 years. I was pregnant the last time I saw him and he totally ignored me and the bump. His partner did speak to me but only when he was out of the room.

I don't understand it and probably never will. My ds knows the man he calls grandad isn't but he shows no Interest in meeting my father, which is fine by me.

We were very close when I was growing up as well, practically insuperable which just makes the whole situation even more strange.

If you could gather your courage I think it would be good idea to ring him and ask him directly why he hasn't seen your daughter. Once you've done that you can at least console yourself that you asked him about it and if needs be you can then start to let go of him. It's a sad situation :(

my father did this to his first family too.

it is very common ime. men don't usually get any kind of criticism for ignoring their children, so if it's convenient for them to ignore them, they frequently will.