This might be long...
My dh and met through my brother some years ago via my dh's best friend at the time who was an ex one night stand of mine - this ex became my brothers friend and all three hung out until I started seeing dh. Then ex said nasty things about me to dh. Dh took my side but my brother kind of took exes. Following this things started to deteriorate between brother and dh. Brother was seeing married woman and would often drop dh at moments notice to meet her.
When we got married we had only family at ceremony and brother took offence so worse relations.
Then he said some things to dh about his conscience when exes mother was dying. Dh did not want to patch things up with his ex friend, my ex brief fling, and I agreed. Too weird anyway.
Eventually dh decided to blank brother as he felt ignored, sidelined and talked down to.
By the time our first son was christened they were not speaking and it escalated into never seeing each other. Dh wanted me to ban from seeing ds1 which I wouldn't do and I dis kind of side with brother as I though dh was over reacting. This caused endless rows and we went to relate but agreed to disagree.
I am forty plus three with ds2. Brother is visiting from break in his year of travel next week. I asked him to come when dh back at work from potential paternity leave but he ignored this. I am anxious enough about baby but now there will be tension of arranging visit when dh busy.
My other brother is alcohol dependent and in trouble with police and lives with my mother so I never go to her place she comes to me. Dad passed eleven years ago.
My mom is quite frail and hard for her to get over but she does come often.
Dh dropped her back to bus stop last night and she told him she wished he could patch things up with brother. Dh apparently launched into reasons why he never would.mum told me but I have not raised with dh as she asked me not to.
Nowsheis unhappy as feels dh attacked son to her face but she did raise it.
I feel so trapped in the middle. I wish dh could get past it but can see why he can't. I also wish brother would just apologize. Mostly I don't want relations to sour between mother and dh as need them around at same time for birth.
Angry with mother for raising topic and dh for getting into it with her. Advice please! X