Hi,
I've been seeing a new man for 3 months. It just fell into place and there have been no issues. We go out a lot, spend most nights together and generally get on really well.
BUT he is a musician and there was this gig and we were meant to be going together. He and his ex are part of the same crew of musicians and when we found out she was going to the gig too, he wouldn't come. He said she would be there, probably with her sister and probably also with her parents who he got on very well with. I could go completely undercover and stand by myself and watch the gig, but he would see his friends there and be with them, and she would be part of that group. He said he wasn't ready for that.
I was a bit upset but put it behind me.
Now there are 2 gigs he is playing next week. I decided to go to the Thursday one. He then texted me to say could I go the Wednesday one and when I asked was that because she was going to the Thursday one, he said yes.
He says he just isn't ready to have us both in the same room especially when he is under pressure performing. He says he has thought about what this is about and it is because he wants to salvage parts of the relationship, like his relationship with her parents. She cheated on him and that's why they broke up.
The night of the first gig, he was showing me a youtube of her saying her hair was different, it wasn't really 'her', why was she faking this stupid youtube in the first place etc. I was saying well I think her hair looks great and she is probably just spreading her wings. She is a lot younger than he is and I am 37 and I can't help asking if it is my age?
Generally we get on great but this has happened twice now and it has put a thorn in my side where previously there was none. I don't know what to make of it. Do you think I should be worried? I woke up this morning and said to him that I felt I needed to distance myself because he is factoring another woman in and I have no-one else to worry about.