My partner works 40hrs pw at a job he seems to like, sure i get that he finds it stressful a lot of the time (as about 99% of the population do!) but im upset because he has made it clear to me that me being a SAHM is an easier job.
My viewpoint is that being the mother of a 6wk old and 3.5yr old is intensely stressful, both have had chickenpox in the last month, my oldest is refusing to poop in the toilet ( is trained otherwise) and wont set foot outside lately without screaming bloody murder at any lawnmower/plane/motorbike noises! Newborn now has horrible eczema on her face that seems to be getting worse (speaking to docs about tomorrow) and im feeling really low. I live on top of a hill a half hrs walk from town (1hr walk at toddlers pace lol) its a hard walk as most of it is steep down/uphill & i dont drive, i live nowhere near any family or friends and know nobody in my neighborhood :(
We had a massive argument on sunday ( we had his 2 older children staying from prev relationship also, who i adore but do add to the stress lately as i seem to be the one doing everything for them!) his ex has 3 kids and he yelled at me saying how he doesnt get why im always upset, i should try doing his job, i only have 2 anyway. He will help when he gets home and say go have yourself a break, ill be upstairs running a bath and baby is screaming like nothing else, "shes at it" he says, " im gonna put her in her cot to shut up" at which point i abandon my bath and come take care of baby! When he had 2 weeks paternity leave he didnt get up for a single night feed and i still did the majority of the housework and taking care of oldest, he has only got up with her 3 times so far! I dont expect him to do so during the week as he goes to work but just sometimes a break would be nice! My day doesnt stop, from am to pm and during the night i am working the mummy shift, i love my girls so much but i have to admit that it can be the most demanding, stressful, lonely and unappreciated job, i know its also the most important in the world and its sad that many mothers seem to get little or no recognition for what they do.
Instead I get told i do nothing with my oldest ( because i rarely set foot out of the door, i feel like screaming, "you ass i gave birth 6wks ago and am still sore" I try to get out for some walks to get her out of the house, the weather has been v hot, trying to get everything done daily, washing up, washing/drying/ironing/putting away 6 ppls worth of laundry, cooking, cleaning, raising a baby and trying to devote time to her jealous older sister, who i play games with,sing and act silly with, teach her things,she can write and recite the alphabet, knows all her colours and numbers etc as i think its important she should know these things before she starts school, its shocking how many children i know that cant write begire they start school.
Also just trying to look nice for him getting home ( the only attention i seem to get is when he wants sex and his hands are all over me, then its " am i getting sex tonight" grrrrrrr! If not then hes glued to his ipod on his football forums or facebook or texting someone.
He now says that i should go back to work and he will stay home with the kids and show me how easy it is, and you know, as much as id love some adult interaction again, i really do love my girls more and shudder at the thought of them staying at home with him, sure hes got the car and can take them down the street to the playpark but i guarantee he would only keep it up for a couple of weeks at most rather than have them out every day as he says, i go through times like that when i say to myself " stuff the housework" lets play, but shift right back, given how far from town i live, going on a walk there and back means i am out most of the day and have to pack so much stuff for baby, then race up the hill to go home and cook dinner ( i dont like the idea of eating frozen dinners everyday, sometimes i do but i try to cook and get a decent meal for my oldest) as i cant afford a disgustingly high taxi fare. Though y'know what? Theres always money for his beer and tobacco so maybe i should just use them for the sake of my children, if he says we have no money then He can bloody well quit smoking as i did. Phew!
This is more of a rant than anything else but im lying on the sofa (have slept here all week) after getting baby back to sleep just needing to get it out, is anyone else out there dealng with similiar issues? I want to run away and hide under a big rock :/
Please share if you are feeling the same, if only to let it out for yourself, i have been on here so many times reading the same complaints and wanted to share too, it does feel better to write it down :)
Wow I should really get some sleep..... Haha x