Ok, it's a really long story but I'll try to shorten it:
My ex has 6 kids from a previous relationship, all living with him.
I was staying there, looking after the kids and house but also maintaining my own place as the ex was not keen for us to all live together, and there was no way I could fit into their 3-bedroom house any way.
Baby was born 5 weeks early, I was totally unprepared and traumatised by it. He thought I was being a drama queen and making a mountain out of a mole hill. I didn't feel ready to go back to spending the majority of the week at his huose, felt the baby needed to settle at my place before we started sleeping over. When she was 3 weeks old he dumped me (by text) because he felt I was messing him and his kids around, using the baby against them and being a bitch.
Health visitor and all friends tell me to run for the hills. Have been referred to the Freedom Programme (for people in abusive relationships). Looking back he did seem to control a lot of my life and did not react well if I didn't tow the line. While I was pregnant he slept with 3 other women (we weren't together so it was my fault he was driven to that apparently) and one of them is pregnant, due in November.
While he was being nasty, and bad-mouthing me to anyone who would listen, I was fine with staying away from him. I ignored him and didn't feel at all bad about not bringing my daughter to see him.
The problem is that, literally over night, he's gone from publicly accusing me of hitting and mentally abusing his kids, to paying maintenance and asking very nicely if he can see the baby. Before all the stuff he was saying about me not letting him see her was bull (he just never asked to see her and I refused to offer!) but now if I say no then I'm the bitch. I know Social Services are aware of him and his kids; they are not well cared for and often hit. I know if my daughter went into his house she would be in danger. 3 of his kids are coming over tomorrow and he is bringing the other 3 Saturday...I hate it because I still can't say no to him or stand up to him. My friends are cross with me for having him in the house but I don't know what else I can do... I guess I'm just looking for some support and advice...