Is this too soon? Ridiculously confused!

[LalasMama]

I split up with ex p 2 months ago due to his alcohol ishoos and his abuse when he drinks. I have moved with the DC into a new house, we are doing fine.

I had promised myself that I wouldn't get into another relationship for a long time, and that I would just enjoy time with the DCs for the time being.

However, I went out Sunday night and bumped into my ex boyfriend from 6 years ago. When we were together, I was 16 and he was 22. We split because he moved away with the army and that was that. We chatted for hours on Sunday and I have him a lift home and ended up going into his house with him and we were up chatting until 6am! We kissed and it is clear there are strong feelings from both sides.

He has said that he wants to give things another go and I do too. As it stands, it would have to just be a one day on weekend thing when the DC are with their dad so it wouldn't be anything serious to begin with.

I'm just worried this is too soon.

Well I would say if you enjoy each others company-why not?

But you will both have changed so don´t be expecting too much from it other than friendship.

I think if you tread carefully and don't go pinning all your hopes and dreams on this guy from the start, why the hell not? Just have a bit of fun with him and see what happens.

Hi, it all depends on you and how 'over' your previous relationship you are. When I split from my exH, I was all over the place and turned the first relationship I had into a disaster, I was so needy and emotional as ex had an affair. When I met DP I was in a much better place. If you feel ready and won't bring all the bad stuff from your old relationship into the new one, then it's not too soon.

Anyway, one day a week will give you ample time to segue into your new relationship. How exciting for you - good luck!

Yes, and be very careful that your desire to see him doesn't cloud your judgement about whether the dcs are safe to stay with your alcoholic exp for overnights.

Alcohol ishoos and abuse when drunk does mean alcoholic btw as does you having left because of it.

If you have strong feelings and you are already familiar with him it might be hard to stick to 'nothing serious to begin with' it might creep up quickly on you and turn serious sooner than you thought!

He seems to want a relationship so may want things to progress quicker than once a week. If you only have one free day a week will it be a choice of seeing him or going out with friends?

It can't be anything serious to begin with, he has an 11m DS who he has all weekend, every weekend. I'm pretty sure we have both got the same expectations.

Ex P isn't allowed to have the kids on his own - he has them at his mums. So I know that they are safe.

Think we will just go with the flow. We are meeting for dinner on Saturday night :)

Good but don't take your eye off the ball on that one as I'm sure you know!!!

It is very soon, especially after a relationship that had abuse in it (there can be lingering trauma).

But there is no reason it can't work out IF you keep firmly in mind that this man is not your emotional salvation: no other human being can be, other than yourself.

What are you doing to work through the aftermath of your relationship with the abusive alcoholic ex? Have you considered the Freedom Programme?