Dh doesn't seem to care

[Succeedingatfailing]

I have been feeling a bit miserable this afternoon and DH knows this. He went out of the house for a bit (to get a paper) then came back and has not spoken to me since. I think this is evidence that he really doesnt care how I feel at all. Is it unreasonable to expect him at least to ask if I'm feeling any better?

This has been my feeling for a while now, and I have previously dismissed it, telling myself he was tired, under the weather, stressed or whatever. He still wants sex, though although he would never force me. The less he seems to care about me, the less I feel like having sex with him. When I try to talk he just gets angry. Is there any hope things will change?

Write him a letter?

Is there any hope things will change?

Well, try relate. And if he wont go with you, you have your answer.

make your own life better without seeking affirmation and comfort from him - then his part in your daily drama will fade into a bit part, he will realise he is being marginalised and is no longer the centre of your very own jeremy kyle show and he will begin to start nipping at your heels like a jack russell who wants attention.

people who demand attention becuase of their emotional woes can suck the life out of you - so

go to docs make sure this isn't clinical

think about what your life it every day - and add soemthing to it - a class, a job, volunteering, going out with friends.

writing him a letter is just so life sapping

at the moment you are at the centre of your own little tornado

imagine yourself as him - even if he is a cunt - i you were him - woudl you like you?

Don't write him a letter. Say to him ' I feel uncared for because of X,Y Z ' and see what he says.

The thing is.... he might just want to leave you to it because he thinks that's what you want. Or he might feel like he can't do right for doing wrong, so does nothing. Have you spoken about how you feel? Has it been going on for a long time?

maybe he thinks you are in a sulk, and cant be doing with that kind of behaviour

You have been given two bits of advice. Firstly, to ask him to come to counselling with you, and if he refuses, to tell him that you are going anyway, because you are unhappy and want to explore why.

Then, develop your own life. Hobbies, friends, volunteering, job, sport.

He might not like the result of all the above...

Did you speak to him?

Its a bit off to feel that he should speak to you if you didnt speak to him either!

Without wanting to sound arsey because I'm genuinely not trying to be.

Are you often miserable? if yes than there could be the problem... he could be fed up with you, doesn't know how or can't make you feel better.

If no then you really need to have it out with him, feck writing a letter, it's demoralising and soul crushing if he chooses not to read it/laughs at you/rips it up, after you pour your heart out (I know this from personal experience)

Also agree with a lot of what custard says about making YOURSELF feel better.
xx

Your DH may be suffering himself. My dw had depression for many years and to start with I found it very difficult to deal with. As her husband I saw it as my 'duty' to make her happy and what ever i did didnt work so I felt a failure. Eventually I went for counselling to help me deal with my feelings and the fact that whatever I did couldnt make her happy and all she really needed was a hug.
You need to talk to your DH and tell him that he is making you feel unloved and un cared for . He may not step up to the plate and change but if he really loves you he may just surprise you,