Can someone please tell me how you seperate when 'd' h does not have a regular income?

[Chocamochalatte]

'D' h and I are considering separating, however, he recently started his own business so does not have a regular income, infact the last two months he's brought nothing in although things are looking up now.

How can we seperate? I feel like we're stuck with each other, I feel like we have no choice. Are we? Do we? :(

The job he does is very specialised, he's unlikely to find a job even part time. Setting up his own business was the only way of leaving his previous employment which took him away for 6 months of the year (intermittently) Anything he tried to apply for now would be minimum wage, not a great option for someone in their 40s.

I don't know, I really don't know what step to take. Like I said, when it's good it's great but when it's not I don't want to be around him. And of course DTs would be devastated he's their hero...

But you are trapped in this situation unless he starts to earn money. My dh set up his own business, very specialised as is your partners, but he kept his old job going for a year. He worked probably 16 hours a day, 7 days a week until his business took off. If the roles were reversed the wife would have to go out to work if she wasn't bringing in an income.

On the other hand you don't sound 100% sure about splitting. Have you gone to marriage guidance?

Could it be that he is snappy because he's worried that he isn't bringing in any income or is he always like this?

Could you be wanting to split because you feel so trapped? If he suddenly started bringing in money would you be happy for him to leave the house?

Sorry for all the question, you don't have to answer them, just things for you to mull over because you dont sound too sure about it all.

Just remember in the middle of this, you are are important too. Is there anything you can do to get some freedom and build a life for yourself that doesnt involve DP. And is aside from your DC. Have you friends you can go out of house to see? Friends you trust and can lean on? Have you hobbies or something you enjoy doing, that you can go out to do? Anything to help you feel you are taking some control in your own life in meantime.
Whatever way it goes then, you'll have a more stable base (yourself) to deal with it from. And it will help with the long months ahead as well. Good luck x

Hope you're ok.