With or without?

[talie101]

Dating again and chatting to a couple of really nice men. Know I'm jumping ahead here but just curious what other people's views are.

If both men are equal in looks, personality etc but one has children and the other doesn't, what factors would sway you towards one rather than the other?

I have no preference really, although wouldn't choose to enter a relationship with a bitter ex on the sidelines - just thinking which would be the best choice for my dc's.

Without, obviously. I can't bear other people's children.

I'd probably go for with because it would mean he has an understanding of what life is like with kids and takes away the element of him wanting to be a father when I certainly don't want any more and it's highly unlikely that it's too late now anyway.

Just live for the moment. Go out with one, and if it doesn't work, see the other.

Don't worry about kids. Everyone has baggage of some sort.

Depends on how his relationship with his children is for the one with kids, and for the one without, it would depend on his view on them.

I know someone who married a bloke who didnt want children, (she already had 4 so wasnt bothered) but it didnt work out well as he did not build any sort of relationship with her children, and they were made to feel uncomfortable in their own home.

Who has the most settled life, good job,intelligence, house etc....too many
People fall for someone who turns out to be a waster.

Oshuk - kids are more than just baggage. They affect how you spend your days.

I was looking for without but eventually started dating one with. Only a month in but he puts his children first constantly and that's why I like him. Plus understands why DS has to come first.

Who's best in bed.

Otoh. I hunk I might go for the one with kids because I can't catch a bloke up to what it's like to have kids and the life changes etc. otoh a bloke with no kids but with reasonable life experience/maturity would amount to the same thing.

I have met someone though it's v early days who is older than me but does not have kids. I have 2. But I know he has had a ltr with a woman who had more than 2 so I figure at least he has some reasonably accurate expectations

I'd get to know both of them better, you can't always tell at the early stages.

@ mushroom

Go out with both. The kids factor may turn out to be null and void if there's no spark with either and neither goes further.

If everything clicks the 'baggage' comes with you.