Everybody please read!

[JaneFonda]

I just wanted to say this:

I think you are all amazing.

Really, I have so much admiration for a lot of you who post on here - if you're going through difficulties in your relationship, if you're in an abusive relationship or have left one, have been cheated on, and all the other things that people write about on here.

I think you're all really brave for being able to write about it, and to open up to, essentially, strangers. I really hope that you get the best in life, because you certainly deserve it.

Also to those who offer advice, and a shoulder to cry on - you are all fantastic. It is really lovely to see such a great support network on here, and I think everyone should be really proud.

So, I hope that you all realise how wonderful you are. :)

What a lovely thing to post Jane

I agree wholeheartedly, it's partly down to MN and the friends I've made here that I'm in the positon I am today.
It's 9 months today that xh left to be with his mistress and their lovechild, total surprise I must say.

I have moved on and am even dating.
I'm doing so well that on monday I'm hosting a day long 'Thank God he left' party.

The ladies of MN and their combined wisdom are fab!

I have found great support here. I frustrated the hell out of people because I wouldn't accept what they were saying, but it would have saved me a lot of heartache if I had listened to start with. and not one person said I told you so when I reported back how it had all gone wrong, they simply offered even more support and still continue to do so.

I have several good friends, but it is great to get on here and talk to people who understand what Im going through.

Abusive relationships often start in our childhood, where our families create an environment where we learn that we don't deserve happiness.

As a result we often find our families cause, exacerbate, enable, prolong or contribute to our remaining in the abusive relationship.

This was the case with me. At one point MN was the ONLY place I could come to, the anonymity was what really helped to begin with. My tentative discovery that all was not right, and indeed far from it, began with MN.

When he left I couldn't speak to a soul about what had gone on. I spent a few days thinking WTF do I have to offer anyone on MN, so I stopped asking questions for myself and started to try to help those that were still in situations like mine.

I found that I made more discoveries about myself by helping others. I find these days that I help and am helped in equal measure.

There are a few MNers who went above and beyond the call of duty to help me find my feet on the very first days, and I owe them so very much.

I couldn't have made the strides I have made in the last year without MN. I too am picking up the pieces and am now dating.

When you realise everyone you thought you knew is actually a stranger, it's comforting to know that real strangers are the ones that will save you.

I've never been stronger in my life as I am today, MN and the women on this board are a HUGE part of that.

Thank you. .. oooh!

At times like this...I really wish MN had a like button!

When you realise everyone you thought you knew is actually a stranger, it's comforting to know that real strangers are the ones that will save you.

Well said HH. Well said.

DON'T NicNoc, you'll have me welling up too!

Thank you Jane. I can genuinely say that I have cried and ached for some of the threads on here. I feel it more acutely since my own relationship ended. Walking down the street and hearing someone howling with grief - then realising it is you - is very very strange.

Mumsnet has been a lifeline - quite literally when I was suicidal.

What hurts me most is the intellect, intelligence and sensitivity I see here - what a lot these partners lose when they betray, hurt or walk away. Their loss. We can climb mountains together here.

Sending love to all the hurt ones. I still hurt but some days are better than others. My beloved daughter - who is so teenage at times and then at other times like a wise and whiskery old lady - has said that she feels her father should have put love and family before work. Yes he has a good career, but she said that being happy is more important. 'He won't be happy now, mum - will he?'

Pass on your wisdom and your strength, ladies. Even when you feel broken. To your sons, to your daughters.

Love, as always and thank you again, Jane.

Late to the thread due to having these strange people called friends who seem to enjoy my company and like going out together at weekends.

All thanks to all the amazing people on here who gave me the space and advice to realise that yes, I could change my life and leave the relationship which had been making me unhappy for the best part of a decade.

Lovely post and couldn't agree more!

for all.

for Bibi and [thanks from me]

I have gained far more insight from being on here that I have ever had doing therapy or counselling. What I need is raw straight talking, not a blank face and a hefty fee.

Thanks for the flowers correction Horsetowater and yy to straight talking v blank face and hefty fee!

Exactly how I felt about counselling. My problem was always that I didn't have anyone to talk to, someone who would tell it like it is without peddling the 'men, what are they like' mantra of a few RL people, so to pay a professional to sit there not providing any feedback either was like setting fire to bank notes every week.

Then I found this place and it was and is full of 'someone's' happy to provide the straight talking feedback and engagement with all the swirling doubts/questions in my head for as long as I needed to ramble on (and no one ppipes up with 'well, that's our hour over, see you next week )

If this site ever starts charging for membership I'd pay it gladly for the enormous help it gave and still does.

Damn!

Bibi & Horse you got the wrong counsellors there girls! Mine is a hefty enough fee, but he makes me see how well i coped with stuff, asks me with hindsight to be honest about how i could have done any better... often i couldn't.

We need counsellors that help us build our confidence ourselves, by looking at the true facts and holding onto them.

The truth will set us free, from our shitty relationship, and onwards to our freedom and happiness!

Well said. The post I was waiting for Jane
In the words of the song:

Can I, too, send to all the wise women on here

How I wish, when I was lost and bewildered and wondering if I was insane, that I had known that mumsnet was MORE than 'what muslin do you use on your babies' bottom' (my impression from MSM).

How I wish that I had had some very straight 'he is having an affair, this is what you need to do to protect yourself';

instead of being the utterly lost, isolated person I was. I wish I had know about Mumsnet then. Someone to say, we know what is happening to you, we recognise the signs, you are not making it up and nor are you alone, we are here.