How do I stop a crush?

[Beaverfeaver]

I have been with my DP for about 10 years, going to get married soon.

Have had the odd silly crush throughout the years but nothing that has caused me a problem.

I am now crushing on a young guy at work who had told me that he has feelings for me but that I am almost a married woman and therefore wouldn't do anything about it.
I don't know if it's because I now know how he feels which makes it do hard for me to forget about it.
We are generally really good friends and go to cinema, for drinks etc and have a laugh at work.
Starting to worry that my thoughts are more on him than my DP and I desperately need this to stop as I can't be thinking about him on my wedding day like this!

What can I do?

a young guy at work who had told me that he has feelings for me but that I am almost a married woman and therefore wouldn't do anything about it.

I am not impressed with young guy's behaviour here. If he had really decided that you are an almost-married woman and that therefore he "wouldn't do anything about it", then he would also have kept it to himself.

Instead, he chose to hand you over a big ol' slice of head-fuckery. How kind of him.

That's very true! He has.
It's a large part his fault that I'm feeling messed up like this.

He apologised, but it's too late as he has already said it!

That's very true! He has.
It's a large part his fault that I'm feeling messed up like this.

He apologised, but it's too late as he has already said it!

Just imagine that he is a selfish little sod who is needy, leaves his dirty underpants
around the house, picks his nose and doesnt wash properly.......

Maybe you should stop the cinema trips, drinks etc and try to minimise the time you spend with him.

Nothing as tempting as the forbidden. You will have more temptations and flirtations ahead of you. it is part of being alive

Massively reduce the time you spend with him and replace him with your dp! Every time you think of him make yourself say he's not worth it and think of your dp.

You will fancy people cos your human it's how you deal with it that matters

Stop feeding it by spending any more time alone with him than you absolutely have to - you know it's wrong and giving out the wrong message and grossly unfair to your fiancée.
Then think about how you would want your DP to react if some girl at work was whispering in his ear?

He's a very good friend which I dont want to lose.
He also says he doesn't want to lose the friendship we have either.

He's one of the few people I spend time with without my DP as after 10 years together all our friends have amalgamated into couple friends with time

For me the key question here is whether you DP knows/is ok with how close you are. Does he ever join your outings? If not I would question the motives of this friendship.

I have offered DP to join previously, but he wary of stopping me from having time away from him. We both know it's unhealthy in a relationship to do everything together and spend no time apart. We both encourage eachother to have the odd night maybe once every two weeks at the most where we do different things from each other.

He has female friends, I have male friends.
Other make friends that I knew before DP have now became more of his friend.

I don't want this happening with each of my male friends

Agree with you being able to have separate friends but as long as the boundaries are clear. If you're bordering on an emotional affair then the boundaries are becoming blurred. Maybe you need to distance yourself until those feelings pass.

Exactly.Platonic friendships are healthy and can enhance life greatly.My DH made a lovely platonic friend who he chatted about freely and I got to know her and her DH overtime also.Sometimes he sees her without me.Sometimes I meet her for a coffe and a natter.And now we even socialise occasionally as a couple with her and her DH.It's great.
What was so not great was when another 'friend' from work developed a huge crush on him, he got flattered massively and after much flirting and texting a world of hurt fell down on me and her DP.How did it get to that? They kept the extent of the friendship a secret.
Nearly ended our long and previously happy marriage.Don't get yours off to such a bad start. Be honest with your DP but above all yourself.