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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sick of my life

9 replies

redonculous · 01/06/2012 15:16

I love my DP but im thinking about leaving him. Basically we had to move to the remote village he grew up in because of his job. I ahve no friends or family here. I've tried and tried to make friends here but because this place is so small, it's hard and I can't drive and there are no buses here, so i cant even go anywhere. We have a 9 month old DD which is the only thing stopping me from leaving. I don't want her to grow up without her dad. I'm just so sick of this place i reallly cant handle the boredom and staying in all day. I feel so sorry for my DD too as she doesnt have much of her life. The only people she ever sees are me, DP and her grandparents. I do take her for a walk everyday but apart from that we just stay in as there is just nothing else to do. I cant visit my family often as they are an 8 hour drive away. Ive lasted nearly 10 months up here and i dont know what to do. How can i take my DD away from her dad? But how can i stay sane up here? I love DP so so much.

OP posts:
justpaddling · 01/06/2012 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

redonculous · 01/06/2012 15:30

Thanks, I wasn't really expecting anyone to be able to give advice, I just needed a bit of a moan. We were originally going to move to my hometown but he couldnt find a job there and with a baby coming ect, he found a job with someone his dad knows.

OP posts:
susiedaisy · 01/06/2012 15:33

Please learn to drive honestly your feeling of isolation will be alot better if you can get out and meet people!

hidingbeneathanamechange · 01/06/2012 15:40

Ok, you need need a life for you. Can you arrange for the grandparents to take your dc a couple of days a week and get a part time job, or some voluntary work? That would make a huge difference to your mood, as it would give you a mental and social outlet.

Are there any mum and baby groups locally? Could you stretch to a cab fare once a week to get to one?

Could you get some tele-sales work? Not necessarily for the money (although it would be nice), but simply because it would give you some structure, self-worth and conversation. All those things are important.

Could you start an internet business, even something as simple as e-baying for neighbours. So many people have stuff they could sell on e-bay, but don't because they can't be bothered with photos etc. They'd be thrilled to have someone do it for them, and you could take commission. You also get to know people that way.

Could you do an on-line qualification? It would fill your time, use your brain, and maybe help you get work later on.

Do you like dogs? Would you house sit or dog walk? Rural communities are usually full of pampered pooches needing day care.

This is not about your DP, this is about boredom and frustration. FGS don't leave him. Talk to him, he may have some more ideas of ways you can improve your set up.

Corgito · 01/06/2012 15:54

Do get a drivers licence. Learning to drive will give you a huge sense accomplishment and will also open up opportunities for activities, work and a social life. Definitely tell DH how you're feeling rather than bottling it up. If he doesn't realise how unhappy you are, he can't possible help. A simple change could be that you could move to a nearby town and he commutes for his job, for example.

HerMajAnyFucker · 01/06/2012 17:51

learn to drive

Jux · 01/06/2012 23:26

Can your dh drive? If so, you can all move to the nearest town/city and he can commute. It's ridiculous to expect one of you to be completely stuck in one tiny place with no public transport when their movement are severely curtailed by parenthood.

zozzle · 01/06/2012 23:30

Don't leave him if you love him - that's mad! Could he look for another job somewhere less remote?

ImperialBlether · 01/06/2012 23:33

There's no reason why he can't travel to work, is there? I don't blame you being bored out of your skull - I would be, too.

Focus on learning to drive and then focus on moving out of the village.

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