I want to spend more time with him...

[neva]

DP visits every weekend, Sat evening to Sunday afternoon. In theory this should be fine. But it just doesn't feel like enough time together. There's no time to go anywhere interesting, and little feeling of sharing our lives.

I asked if he could see me occasionally on Friday evenings, but he says he has to work late. Saturday is out because of a sports activity he does. I asked him if, just occasionally, he could skip that, but he's not willing to do that, expect when we go on holiday, or a weekend away.

Any ideas please? Has anyone been in a similar relationship and how did things develop?

Why doesn't he visit in the week? Why doesn't he stay on a Sunday night and go to work in the morning?

The truth is, he's not spending time with you because he doesn't want to.

No time together in the week?

Doesn't sound like he is overly keen really

How long have you been together? He sounds more like a boyfriend which he is happy with being that a partner.

*than a partner

I wouldn't be calling someone who is only prepared to spend that amount of time with me a 'dp'.

Why so little time? Does he have space in his life for a relationship? If it doesn't suit both people then it's not right.

I would wonder if he had another woman.

Are you sure you're his only girlfriend?

Even if you are he's not even remotely prioritising you. I would find someone who wants to.

I have a living apart relationship but my boyfriend is happy to spend time here and go to work from here sometimes. We don't really have set times that he'll visit - if there are things we want to do we look at when we're free and do them then - that means he may stay over one week night because it's best to do whatever the activity is after work rather than try and fit in into a set day on the weekend.

I'm not at all worried if some weekends we don't see each other at all, because I know that he'd be happy to come round another day, or if we plan a few things over a couple of days he'll make time to do those things. I would be worried if it felt like he was only seeing me when it was convenient for him regardless of what I wanted to do.

Would it be worth asking if he wants to do a specific thing that you'd both enjoy one week rather than the general request of seeing you occasionally on a Friday? Maybe (being charitable) he's thinking that if you're just going to hang out it's better for him to get the work done and spend the time on a Sunday with you. Though if you're telling him that you'd like to see more of him, and he isn't really entering into any discussion about it that still isn't very fair.

He does feel more like a boyfriend than a partner, but as neither of us is particularly young, boyfriend doesn't sound quite right.

We don't meet during the week is because it's a minimum 90 minute journey from his home/work to my place. He wouldn't be able to get to work on time, travelling from my place. Fridays would be reasonably practical though, which is why it is hurtful that he doesn't make the effort.

There are a lot of positives to the relationship, so I don't really want to call it a day. I've made it clear what I want; I don't think I can mention it again, as it will just sound like nagging.

Over the next few years, if things stay as they are, I'll be spending increasing amounts of time alone, as dd becomes more independent. I'm thinking of moving house to a more exciting town. It will put more distance between him and me, but at least I will have things to do when he's not around.

Leave the bastard, oh you can't, sigh.......

:) Akermanis, sounds like to you have some experience in this area

My SIL spent a similar amount of time with her partner! (Lives about an hour's drive away).

She found out recently that he has been 'juggling' another girlfriend into the scheme for the last 2 years!!!

maybe he's not that into you
or has another woman on go
either way, he's sending you a clear signal

Why don't you go to his on Friday night, so when he gets in from work (even if say 9/10pm) you'd still have an hour or two snuggle time, plus time on Sat morning before his sport (or could you go and watch on the odd occasion?)

If he won't entertain any of these possibilities, you have to face the fact you are in a little box marked 'Sat night entertainment'. He doesn't even stay all of Sunday.

He's just not that keen to spend time with you, sorry.

Are you sure he is not married?

Sadwidow, how difficult for your SIL. Mumsyblouse, can't go to his Friday night because I have dd.

Are you sure he's not leading a double life? Have you ever been to his house?