Bad Gut reaction or excitement?

[KirstyWirsty]

I have organised a department night out for Friday night .. there are a few single men but only one I would describe as attractive .. call him Fred.. anyhow I heard that Fred had pulled out on Tuesday so dropped him an email saying I'd heard that he'd pulled out.. next thing I know he's decided to go again and sent a few flirty emails .. which I responded back to ..

Since then my stomach has been in knots and I've not been sleeping well ..even started back on the Kalms

My thoughts have been that I would fancy him for a snog .. not sure I would sleep with him (.. I know he had an affair and left his wife a few years back but is now single) as not sure of his trustworthiness

On a more positive slant my counsellor suggested the reason that I always up til now ended up with people that liked me rather than me fancying them is because I don't take a proactive enought approach .. and I do find him attractive

I am worried that instead of feeling excitement that I'm feeling dread or something like it .. but I've not always been good at knowing these things .. not sure what use it is posting but thought I'd see what others think??

I think you're feeling nervous because, due to the flirty e-mails, you've effectively said 'come and get me Big Boy' - so much for maintaining your feminine mystery :) Look, its a works night out. Could be great, could be dire. Take it on face value and enjoy the moment rather than analysing the hell out of it or running ahead of yourself.

not sure I would sleep with him (.. I know he had an affair and left his wife a few years back but is now single) as not sure of his trustworthiness

You know he isn't trustworthy.
You also find him attractive and are thinking of snogging him.
Yeah, that would be confusing.

Go ahead and flirt with him and snog him, if you want to, and if you think you can do it without getting your emotions involved.

But you know he isn't trustworthy.

Congrats on proactively organising a work do, though. Now you know you can do it again, and maybe bit by bit manage to cast a net that includes cute single men who aren't known cheats.

How does she know he isn't trustworthy? Lots of people have failed marriages. His 'affair' could be office gossip. All kinds of reasons why the man is now single. Take it on face value.

Wear your biggest knickers and don't shave your legs. Don't start anything with him on that night. If he wants to go out with you and you'd like that, then let him ask you out on a date and see him away from work friends.

Just taking the OP at face value. OP states "I know he had an affair", not "scuttlebutt is that he had an affair".

Don't do anything with him on the night. You might need to remain sober for that!

Give yourself time to think about what you are feeling so that you don't regret whatever action you take.

Just because you fancy this one doesn't mean you should go for it. Get to know him and assess his character first.

The flirty emails were more him bigging himself up and me slagging him so not really 'come get me big boy' Cogito

imperial I've got old pants on and my bikini line would keep Percy Thrower busy for a few days .. I've also left house a bit untidy as further deterrent

I feel a lot calmer now. Looking forward to a nice night out with friends and just see how it goes..

Thanks fire all of the wise words xx

have a great night xx

Ah well all that fuss over nothing.. he came in to the function.. stayed 10 mins and left.. I had a ball though .. boogied all night and caught up with friends so all not lost xx

Yay for boogying all night!

Eminently satisfying that is.