I don't want it to be over, but there's just no future [sad]

[DefiniteMaybe]

I've been with dp now for almost 7 years. We have 2 dc aged 3 and 9mo. We've overcome lots together and are getting along nicely at the moment even though after splitting up for a short while when ds was a baby we still don't live together.
I won't let him move in with us until he gets a job. I don't want to spend my life supporting him not working. Apparently, he's been looking but there's nothing about. I had a quick look today. Found lots of jobs including one within 0.1 miles on okish money with decent hours. Totally disinterested.
I feel gutted. I thought we were working towards having both of us working, living together, getting married. Its just never going to happen. He's never going to change.

How old are you both? Where does he live? Has he ever had a job? I think you are right however - you can't motivate someone else, it have to come from within. If having 2 children doesn't motivate him to get a job then it's unlikely he will ever change.

I'm sorry you are in this situation - I think it's regrettably that you have dc's with him but YOU can change your life and bring up you children with you as a good role model.

Why does anyone embark on a relationship with someone thinking 'they'd be OK if they were different?' IME people are what they say on the tin and, whilst they might mature a little over time, hoping they're going to change is a hiding to nothing. A lazy man isn't going to become industrious and a liar isn't going to start telling the truth. I'm sorry you've got a lazy liar on your hands but he'll be the same way his whole life. Next person you hook up with, take them on face value.

Well said, Cog (looking in mirror, here. I was convinced I could change him with my understanding and luuuuuuuuurve - where is the idiot stamp for forehead?).

Beautifully put. As Maya Angelou says: when someone tells you who they are, believe them.