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Relationships

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Original poster

WHEN TO DO IT?

26 replies

MammyShirl · 04/12/2003 15:45

I know that its inevitable that sex lives go out th window for a while after the arrival of our little angels but i do want to do it and so does he but at night we are tired and in the morning she is peeping through the bars at us! my dd is 8 months and i cant bring myself to put her in her own room just yet as the second room is on a different level and i know i would just end up getting up every minute as it is now sometimes i still jump up out of my sleep in a frenzy to feel her chest breathe...
my partner and i have a lovely relationship and before dd we had a great sex life and it was one of the best parts of our relationship, now our relationship has changed, it has get better and stronger and my love for him really does grow (cheesy but true) but we hardly get to have sex, when we do it is great. i would only have sex if i really feel up for it, doing it for th esake of it turns sex into a chore. problrm is at night we are soooooooooooooooo tired and we hug and just fall asleep. one of th elast times we had sex, it was in the morning, we where really going for it and it felt like old times, we both ended up making alot of noise and collapsed exhausted and out of breath and then heard a little gurgle, we turned and saw two wide interestd eyes staring right at us with a half confused smile! it was funny, thank god we didnt notice she had woken during, that would have been a real passion killer. i love sex and now that i am weaning off breast feeding i am feeling more sexual and want it. when is the best time to so it? will we always feel exhausted at night?

OP posts:

salt · 04/12/2003 15:48

What about lunchtimes? are you in meeting distance during the day?!? or during nap time or a quickie in the kitchen while baby plays in living room?!?

MUM2ELA · 04/12/2003 15:50

In the shower before bed is my fave!

Kill 2 birds with one stone - get dirty and clean at the same time

Original poster

MammyShirl · 04/12/2003 15:50

its like we always feel randy at different times. surely before dd we did too, i dont know why it seems harder now.

OP posts:

MUM2ELA · 04/12/2003 15:54

Mammyshirl - I know what you mean. I like to do it before bed and DH likes it in the morning (he works long hours and is shattered by bed time) which is inconceivable ('xcuse the pun!) when DD is around (15 months). We HAVE to find time tho as we are ttc.

Original poster

MammyShirl · 04/12/2003 15:55

i did actually do the shower thing satuday, dd was taking nap and i pulled him away from playstation. that was nice but she woke up just at the end... i guess it just has to be stolen moments here and there... its extra effort though isnt it, everything after babies becomes extra effort, washing, eating, sleeping, sex its always like when will or when can i do those things. dont get me wrong, im not monaing about being a mammy i love it more than anything ive ever experienced but it is bloody hard and i have always been th emost unorganised person so i guess i am just not very good at organising my life... and sex life. organising it sounds boring though... i dont know...

OP posts:

kayleigh · 04/12/2003 15:56

I am almost always too tired at bedtime. In fact scrap the almost !
We have finally reached a stage where we can send ds1 and ds2 downstairs on a sunday morning and they'll happily sit in front of the TV for an hour or so with a glass of milk and a bowl of dried shreddies (am not risking spilt milk on my sofas !)
An hour is more than enough time for some fun and a little nap afterwards !!
Ds1 is 5 and ds2 is 2 so you may have to wait awhile

Original poster

MammyShirl · 04/12/2003 15:57

i dont mind waiting - as long as i have it to look forward to then its ok.

OP posts:

MUM2ELA · 04/12/2003 15:58

Kayleigh - an hour ! Blimy! In an hour I can have fun (twice), sleep and clean the house!

Original poster

MammyShirl · 04/12/2003 16:00

no wonder she has two!

an hour, that would be nice!!!

OP posts:

Rhubarb · 04/12/2003 16:01

Our dd used to have a 1/2 morning nap and a 2 hour afternoon nap until she was 6 months old, courtesy of that lovely Gina Ford! So we would do it then, mind you it took 6 months before I was ok enough to even think about it! So if you can get your little one to have a nap during the day then go for it then!

Just make sure you use contraception!

dadslib · 04/12/2003 16:02

Message withdrawn

kayleigh · 04/12/2003 16:04

dadslib, what ? every night ?!!!

dadslib · 04/12/2003 16:06

Message withdrawn

dadslib · 04/12/2003 16:08

Message withdrawn

Original poster

MammyShirl · 04/12/2003 16:10

dadslib- that made me laugh.
i do want sex but not that much!!!
i cant think of many woman who would want to waste precious sleep time.

my dd does sleep for 2 hours in the day, but on a sat/sun that is whenwe get to get dressed late and do things that you dont get to do. i know it sounds like excuses but it does always feel like there is somthing else more important that needs to be done.

OP posts:

Rhubarb · 04/12/2003 16:11

Dadslib - you and SS should form a celibacy club! Actually my dh could join in with you too, I'm surprised he doesn't post on here!

ThomCat · 04/12/2003 16:12

That's so weird though - planning it like that, setting the alarm to have sex!! HA haaaaa
We have sex in the morning mainly but I love to do it at night and then fall into a deep sleep still smiling! Kids in the same room as you really is a killer for the sex life imo.

Original poster

MammyShirl · 04/12/2003 16:25

whats a good ages to kick them out into their own room?

OP posts:

kayleigh · 04/12/2003 16:26

both my dss were in their own room at betwen 6 & 8 weeks.

dsw · 04/12/2003 16:26

My dd was in her own room from 4 weeks - but her room was on the same level as ours.

Rhubarb · 04/12/2003 16:27

As soon as they have dropped their night feed I would say. dd was about 4 months old when we moved her into her own room. I used to feed her last night feed at around 11pm and that was it until 7am. Again, courtesy of Gina Ford!

Northerner · 04/12/2003 16:27

As if you'd be in the mood at 3am for sex!

Forestfly · 04/12/2003 16:30

More like who with, not when!

Bozza · 04/12/2003 17:02

What about early evening (ie straight after DD has settled) in front of the fire?

ThomCat · 04/12/2003 17:15

I had Lottie in her own room within a few weeks tbh. I had the monitor on in our room and left both doors which were next to each other open. I've just really been one for own private, personal sleep time / space. Anyway her room was so lovely I used to love tiptoing in there and peeking at her in there.

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