Does my husband have a problem or is it me?

[KautoStar]

Im at my wits end with my relationship with my husband. He always seems to drink when he's at home and just watches sport all day. We have 2 boys and i worry that they will end up the same. He starts around 1pm and just keeps drinking until he falls asleep or he makes an argument over nothing. He says nasty things and just blames me.

We went for a drink the other night and he'd already had a few beforehand. He then gets too drunk and it annoys me, we started arguing and he said some things about what i wore at work He then walked out and left me and got a taxi and left me there alone.

2 days later we went out again, he never eats anything either and just drinks. We were with friends and we all had food but he just continued to drink. He then said nasty stuff to me and told me to f* off in front of my friends for no reason. He says its my fault coz i suffer with PMT. After that night out he got up the next day and went straight back on the drink and still no food. I feel as i i cant take anymore. The verbal remarks and the drinking in the house are getting me down. He cant have a day at home without a drink.....is this normal?

No, this isn't normal. This is very bad indeed, it sounds like your H. is...no, scrub that, your H. IS an alcoholic and needs to take some responsibility for his addiction. Hope you're OK.

Of course it's not normal. Sounds like he has a serious drink problem. I think if I were in your shoes I'd find out about Al Anon.

Apart from anything else he must be spending a fortune on alcohol.

Does he get violent?

He has a drink problem. I doubt anyone who doesn't have a drink problem would disagree.

But he's highly unlikely to change as he sounds like he has no problem with it.

Hi

No he isn't physically violent. I am thinking of leaving him over it.

does he work?

hes an alcoholic

The fact that he's only drinking and not eating suggest he's got a drink problem.

Yes he works and has days without drinking anything.

days without drinking don't mean anything.

Does he have a normal relationship with alcohol? Can he have one or two glasses and have a pleasant time? Is drinking impacting on his or his family's quality of life?

(lots of alcoholics in our family - dead or reformed)

No once he starts he struggles to stop. He can drink 2 crates of beer easily on a weekend.

It's not normal, he's an alcoholic. I have lived with one. By allowing this to continue, it's not really helping him. Does he need a serious ultimatum? You shouldn't have to put up with this and neither should your children.

AA suggests that alcoholics have an 'allergy' to alcohol, in that they have an abnormal reaction to it. That is defined as once they have one drink it sets off a craving to have more and more and more. On that basis it sounds very much like your husband is an alcoholic. You cannot make him stop. You did not cause it and you cannot cure it.

Look into Al Anon and encourage him to take a look at the AA website.

Agree, look into al anon. There is hope though, my relative is sober now.

Problem is he doesn't see it as a problem just makes excuses as its his day off so he can relax with a beer. He knows how much i hate him having too many and now im trying to understand his point of view to stop the arguments

Alcoholics don't generally see it as a problem. Contact al anon and take it from there. I have to agree after 30 years experience with this, it's not your fault and you can't stop him. He has decide to stop. Going to al anon will help you though.

Thanks everyone for the advice. :)