Just getting back on my feet.....and then he sends the text.

[Marymoo73]

ExP left in January after I discovered the second of his affairs. In total, they had been going on for 18 months, started just after our DD was born. So I kicked him out. Dealt with all the horrible practicalities that comes with becoming a SP again. Sorted work, kept it together for my kids (DS 7) and was trying to keep things civil for their sakes. So I'm getting there, slowly but surely.

Then. Saturday night he sends me a text. "I love you so much "(not me, clearly) It was a punch in the face. I called him, he denied sending the text FFS. On Sunday he was apologising, telling me it was not what I think etc etc. Thing is, I feel like he's ripped out my heart all over again. I can't understand how he can move on so effortlessly. I feel so bloody lost and like i've just gone straight back to December when I found out. Any advice on how to get this bastard out of my system for once and for all and to be able to move on.

It's difficult when you have children together because you have to retain some kind of contact. Sounds like you're doing a great job getting on with your life and that you'll get past this wobble OK. It is galling when you feel stuck at the starting line and they seem to be sailing into the sunset without a backward glance. Good luck

OK.

My love, you had managed to heal, to get him out of your day to day, and then when you were just sitting comfortably on your new rung of the ladder this prick sends you a message that clearly was to show you that he's STILL a wanker.

He screwed up, but he is being the same twat you left.

He has not ripped your heart out, he has shown you who he is again, and that he has not and never will change. You had got past the shock of realising that there was no hope left, and then this. The text has reminded you that the hope of him ever coming good has well and truly died.

I got a missed text from my (abusive) ex. clearly not to me. I also got a message from him talking about my birthday in July. (MY birthday is in JUNE, we were together 10 years, his PREVIOUS (and cling-on) girlfriend's birthday was in July. The text was for me alright, but he couldn't be bothered to remember the date. ever.

I tore a ffing strip off him for both of these, it's a massive lack of respect and this is what your Ex has shown you, a massive lack of respect.

FWIW, after 10 years of never bothering to remember, he's not got it wrong this year...

Tear his head off (metaphorically naturally) Tell him to NEVER text you again, that you are not one of his tumbles and that to treat the mother of his DC like this is disgusting.

The tough love bit from me? Stop expecting him to turn good, he won't. You are hurting yourself if you carry on expecting him to be nice/decent.

Thank you, I guess there was a tiny fantasy that he would become a decent human being and treat me with respect, but clearly the only person he cares about is himself. He is bloody toxic but still manages to guilt me into bringing his DS to my house to have "quality time" with DD and my DS.

Refuse all unneccessary contact. For your own sanity. For a while.

He's holding your recovery back.

Why can he not organise his own "quality" time with his ds and yours?

I think he sent it to you on purpose to annoy you. Why would you put the person's name in the text? Surely you'd just write 'I love you so much'. I can't imagine texting 'I love you so much Tom'. WHO DOES THAT?

It's obviously killing him that you kicked him out and clearly don't need him. Sad bastard.