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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not worried yet - but should I be?

3 replies

NotWorriedYet · 27/05/2012 00:05

Namechanged for this one. Background is DP has been out of work for a numbe of months, prior to which his employment situation was fairly unpleasant and so stressful. I was the main breadwinner anyway and so financially, whilst not fantastically comfortable, our house / cars etc are perfectly safe.

DP has never had a massive sex drive - couple of time a week is fine. Tbh that works for me as I fulfill all the stereotypes of preferring a nice cuddle a lot of the time.

That said, I can count the number of times we've had sex this year on one hand and on each occasion I've been a bit squiffy and made the first move. I know he's felt stressed though, so haven't pushed it.

DP has now been offered a job, but I'll still be the main breadwinner. (My salary is high rather than his poor iyswim). I'm hoping things will change when he starts work, but so far not seeing any evidence.

He still tells me I'm lovely, lots of affection etc. Brings me tea in bed every morning, compliments me on my appearance & there's plenty of kissing and cuddling so I'm not that worried, but should I be? Clearly this is unlikely to be sustainable long term, but I don't want to push to g out of this rut (and to be honest I'm not unhappy, I just feel as though I should be...)

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 27/05/2012 00:30

If you are not unhappy with the situation , then is it really a huge problem?

There are plenty of very happily married couples who only have sex once a month, or even less. So long as both parties are happy with that, then it is fine.

FeministPixie · 27/05/2012 04:42

Have you discussed the sex thing with him?

maleview70 · 27/05/2012 08:42

If he was showing no affection then maybe, but as he is then I would t worry about it. It's almost certainly stress related. However, getting out of the habit can become the new habit if you see what I mean.

Give him time to start the new job and then see how it goes.

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