Am so angry all the time

[lowestpriority]

Feel as though my life is going nowhere and just want my family (DH and DCs) to bog off and leave me alone.
I know I should not feel like this, but don't know what to do to stop it.
Everyone I love, even my mum, seems to grate on me nowadays. I feel useless, unemployable and pissed off all the time.
Not sure why I posted this, just needed to rant.

sorry you feel so bad OP.
Is there something that you can do to make yourself a "higherpriority" in your life??

Have you thought about going to your GP?

Have been down the ADs road, but always stopped taking them after about a month as I felt it was a sign of weakness.
TBH, I think I'm going through some kind of 'midlife crisis'. You know, where I go out, shag younger men, buy a sportscar, etc.
Would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.

Have a look at the Live (Living?) Life to the Full website....entirely legit and run by a very nice NHS psychologist..its a site GPs often recommend to their patients, and might be a good alternative if you aren't keen on ADs.

Cheaper than buying a sportscar and no risk of catching chlamydia

I felt like that when my children were young and went to the doctor and got ADs. They really do help and they're not a sign of weakness.

How is your relationship? I found out mine was rotten - found out after I'd been on ADs for a long time - and realised that my behaviour was a response to what was going on, if only I'd known it.

Either way, seek help. It's a brave thing to do, I think, to admit you have a problem and need help.

'Unemployable'?.... It would be pretty common to feel stressed, old and surplus to requirements if you're between jobs. A lot of people get their sense of self-worth from what they do for a living. Expect you're making a lot of efforts to get back into work. Have you looked at options like courses or voluntary work to give you a bit of purpose? In the meantime, give your family a break. It's not easy to be cheerful if life is dragging you down but it's worth the effort.

My relationship atm is pretty rubbish, which obviously does not help. We had a long talk a while back and I thought we had come to some agreement about how things should progress, but it seems to be me, as always, putting in the effort, not him.

I have been a SAHM now for 10 years. Youngest starts school in 101 days (yes I am counting). I had my heart set on teacher training, but apparantly, even though I have a BA (Hons) Degree, I do not have GCSE Maths, so that's me out. Also, it seems that as I want to teach a non high priority sublect I would get no financial assistance. I really don't want to go down the student loan route....I will be 46 next month so taking on more debt at my age seems ridiculous.
I also don't think I could rely on DH to take up the slack of morning and after school childcare if I did somehow find employment. Me going out to work would be my choice, so up to me to sort out any additional childcare.

I just feel deflated as every area of my life seems to be rubbish atm. I feel blocked every way I turn if that makes any sense.

Speaking personally, I find there's nothing so stressful as that feeling of being held back and at the mercy of events rather than in control. If it's going to be you putting in all the effort anyway, for example, you may find your life tougher in some respects but easier in others without the millstone of your DH round your neck. As a single parent myself, whilst things are rarely a bed of roses, I know that I get a big sense of accomplishment from being independent and satisfaction from overcoming obstacles.

In the meantime, rather than focusing on all the things you can't do or haven't done, why not take a step forward and identify something you can do to take things forward. Taking a GCSE in maths (piece of piss these days) would be an obvious thing to me...

Hell yes get that maths gcse for starters - that was glaringly obv to mne1!!!

I work with women who are intensely fed up! I prescribe a few counseling sessions as well, for rantage purposes, followed by a serious think.

1. If you don't do something, who will???
2. ADs are not a sign of weakness. A 6 month course would set you back on track.
3. If you don't change your life, it will stay the same. People are not meant to stay the same, nor is life. So change. Make your hb change. He'll get used to it.
4. Take on student loan debt if needs be. So what? You are more important than money.

Go for it girl. If you couldn't fail, what would you do??

Being a single parent is a pretty daunting thing to start with, but once you get used to the idea it's completely liberating. When last year I took the step of ceasing to be a single parent after 5 years I found that more much scary to take the leap with! Being a single parent is physically harder work but the rewards are huge. If H is a millstone around your next, sack him off! And you could cope financially - the tax credits system still makes being a working single parent worth it, even if you work part-time.

Sorry you feel so crap. Swathes of empathy from me, I'm feeling similar ATM (am 25). Will be checking out that NHS website.

I would like to second the maths GCSE though. Even if you don't continue to teacher training, it is still a really useful qualification in showing that you are numerate (you could consider functional skills first if you find maths difficult). You may be able to get funding - can't remember details unfortunately but when my DH was looking into it there were grants available because it was an essential qualification. And it might be a nice change of scene and a new focus, even for a few hours a week - don't underestimate the power of that :)

I did some research a bit ago, looking at returners to education. I found that married women were more likely to drop out than single parents. It was because single parents would assume they'd get no help, and so organised the childcare etc that they needed. Married women OTOH assumed they'd have support from their DH...

Thanks for the advice. Yes, I am the only one who can change things, aren't I?
sitting back and waiting for something to happen is pointless. I so agree with the point about married women assuming they will get support from their DH. I mean, if you can't get emotional support from your own husband, where are you going to get it?
Need to start making things happen for me as opposed to to me.

namechange that's really interesting. I can understand why that is the case - I didn't even sign up to evening classes because DH works funny shifts and I knew he wouldn't be around for some of them, but if I were a single parent I'd have asked someone else or found a daytime course.