MIL. I know it's been done before but..

[KK8]

So, H and I split about 2 months ago due to EA from his side. He has accepted full responsibility for the breakdown of the marriage and is having counselling atm.

I moved with my son back to my mum's 100 miles away and H has followed, renting a flat near to us so he can see DS regularly, It has done me a favour because I did not want him travelling up and down the M25 for 2 hrs every/other weekend.

So all good on that front BUT my MIL has always been on our doorstep where we were before, calling in EVERY day unannounced, giving (not so reserved) opinions on anything and everything, includung my family business re my brothers trying to set up home with their wives, having babies etc. I won't go into too much detail because I'd be here all night but basically she has been in our lives too much, and H was never able to cut the apron strings. Agreeing to DS going on a long weekend to centreparcs and taking him out of school after I'd ALREADY said no to her. That's how she works, if I say no, she'll go to H instead knowing he won't be able to say no to her.

Anyway. H and I are 2 months into our seperation, he has acknowledged through counselling that he needs to sever ties with his AE dad, but won't admit that his mother has been part of the problem. And a couple of days ago he comes to pick up DS and sheepishly says, that MIL is applying for a job in the nursery at DS's new school. I am FURIOUS!! She has told me in the past that she doesn't want to go back to working with children, and she always said she wouldn't move back down here (H and I are both from Sussex and they moved to Essex, H followed, I followed once in a relationship etc..) but all of a sudden, now DS and H are back down here she's on my pissing doorstep again! How do I get rid of her?!?! She and her husband are splitting up after years of pretending and now conveniently she is staying with H in his flat! Anywhere else in the world please!!

I know there are a lot of MIL problems out there but anyone been the same where you thought you'd escaped them and they ended up following you?!?! 100 MILES!! Jeez....

Contact the school and explain your worries.

definitely contact the school. They will want to know her motivation for the job and this will cast a dark shadow on her application.

Tell the school in question.

I would now consider seeking legal advice with a view to obtaining an injunction against this woman. She is becoming a real nuisance and a Solicitors letter may scare her off.

Would definitely talk to the school/nursery and explain the issues - hopefully they would think it was too big a risk to take her, especially if you'd said you wanted no contact between your dc and her during the day. Hopefully they would discover they had a much better candidate apply at the same time.

As for mil turning up every day, do you have a chain on your door? If not get one and every time she comes, open the door with the chain on and don't let her in. Shut the door in her face if necessary and leave her there. Tell her that for now all her contact with your ds will be during her son's access time, it's not convenient for you to come in now, goodbye.

Keep doing this and if she has nOt got the message after a couple of days then tell her the spiel again but point out that her continued presence after you have told her she is not wanted is harassment and so she needs to stop it or you will have to get the law involved.

She sounds pretty determined and desperate to have gone to such extreme measures to follow you so unfortunately I think you are going to have to steel yourself to resorting to strong measures to deal with her and be prepared to do things that you wouldn't normally do as normal society would consider them rude (such as shutting the door in her face and not letting her in).

Good luck - sounds a miserable situation to be in!

How stressful for you op. Just when you think you've moved on!

I agree, definitely let the school know and try to get them on side.