Im having an affair.

[hotandcross]

I have been having an affair with my husband since I left him. He lives with someone else but would come home in a shot if I let him. I dont know how or why I have got myself into this. He justifies it constantly saying 'but we are married, I love you so much etc..'.I need reminding how bad this is.

What does your counsellor say? What are you telling your counsellor? It would be lovely to hear your story.

No flaming here: I know that if I and my H parted we would always have a bond, and any OW no matter how gorgeous would have to watch out. He has admitted it too.

Therefore, we owe it to ourselves and our family to heal.

H&C, my advice to you is to continue to work on yourself and your sense of self, until one day you can put down some real boundaries and require a way of being treated. Good luck, let us know about your journey.

Thank you so much for the messages everyone. I was very worried about writing on here but you have all been very wise and nice. ABWN; I have told my counsellor absolutely everything and she has been amazing. She is my only real support and knows the journey I have been on. I dont think he is 'just using me'. I think perhaps our marriage just ended before it was supposed to and we are both just very sad about that. We have an extremely strong connection to each other which I have tried endlessly to break.But we have to see each other a lot and it is so hard.We have two girls who we both love so much and they also enjoy us having 'family time'.

ABWN; I have just re-read your post. Thank you so much for your kindness.And it is really nice to hear your compassion. I havn't given myself much lately.