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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I call him? (sorry long)

8 replies

StrangerintheHouse · 23/05/2012 13:45

Dh walked out last night when he was supposed to be giving ds his bath. DIdn't say anything to me, he was getting stressed with ds so I said I would do the bath, could he get the washing in, then just heard him driving away. Shouted as I thought he'd taken pushchair etc in the boot and he ignored me.

Not heard anything from him today - his day off, usually he comes over the night before and spends time with ds. We were planning a bbq.

We are separated but trying to work it out. ANd frankly I am at the end of my tether. We don't have a lot of support so when dh had a breakdown last autumn I had to put ds first and concentrate on looking after him if dh wasn't able. I also hoped by asking him to leave it would give him and his gp a jolt to actually organise counselling and stop fannying about. He is seeing a counsellor now.

ALso I have my own problems - pnd etc and ds has never slept through not even close (2 years).

Dh's behaviour was getting really shitty and was affecting me and sadly ds. Sometimes he tells me he's been an arsehole, he'll do anything to get his family back. Other times he tells me he prefers living on his own.

I don't have the eneergy to waste getting upset when he lets me down, get's angry over small things etc etc.

I am giving up on our relationship tbh but thing is he has a history of suicide attempts (as a teen). He's started self harming again recently and has had several episodes saying he has constant thoughts of killing himself. Thinks ds hates him (not true) and would be better off without him. He was abused and neglected as a child and has recently been piecing together what happened to him. So what if he has done something... and I didn't try to contact him?

Texting not an option (no signal round here).

OP posts:
MoreCowbell · 23/05/2012 13:46

Call the police and say you're afraid for his safety. Do you know where he'll be? Or give them his reg number.

StrangerintheHouse · 23/05/2012 13:49

But won't they just ask if I've tried to call him? I just can't bear to speak to him after being treated like shit again.

OP posts:
MoreCowbell · 23/05/2012 13:50

I don't know. Why not ask a friend or family member to call him.

StrangerintheHouse · 23/05/2012 14:00

Should have said I lost my mobile yesterday to add to the great day-ness so don't know anyone's number except his. Not sure I can facebook anyone about this.

He's a bit of a loner anyway.

Think I will leave it til this evening.

OP posts:
MoreCowbell · 23/05/2012 14:03
Biscuit
CogitoErgoSometimes · 23/05/2012 14:04

I'd leave him to it. He's a grown man and whatever happens next, I don't think you have much influence over. IME People who attempt or threaten suicide rarely go through with it. The ones that are serious about it do it entirely without warning. Worrying about him will not anything except stressing you. He is not your responsibility.

StrangerintheHouse · 23/05/2012 14:06

What? I'm not making this up ffs. I just needed some support in a difficult situation.

Sorry if it doesn't make sense but I'm so sleep dripved I just put some rubbish in the fridge instead of the bin.

OP posts:
StrangerintheHouse · 23/05/2012 14:08

Thanks Cogito. That is what I needed to hear, he is not my responsibility you are right.

Now I need to go sort myself out and wake ds.

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