This is quite a long one so thank-you to anyone who can stick it to the end.
I have a very dear friend who I have known for years. About 5 years ago I moved away and we lost touch for a while. I moved back to my hometown last year and we've got back in touch and are just as close as before.
She is in an abusive relationship and I don't know what I can do to help her. Her OH, is very manipulative and nasty. He (mentally) beats her down and she is literally a shadow of her former self. It has become physical before but this is not common (I know, even once is too much, I'm just making the point it's the emotional abuse that is a bigger problem.)
She has 5 children, two with her current OH. When she met him she was happy with her life and her 3 children as they were at school and she wanted to go back to work and start getting a bit of her life back. He convinced her if they had children he would be around and help etc. He doesn't. He disappears a lot, goes out drinking and taking drugs, with no contact. She has a massive house to take care of and obviously 5 children (two are teenagers). One of her girls (she's 13) was sexually abused last year on top of all this (not by her OH) and the trial is looming, so this is obviously adding to her stress.
Basically it's got to breaking point now. The night before last he was off out the door again after avoiding her all day when he'd promised they would talk...she couldn't cope and just walked out, leaving him with the kids (he's good enough with the kids, they would be safe). My DH was also there and has a good relationship with the children, so she knew they'd be OK.
She came to my front door as I was just settling my DD, and literally collapsed sobbing in my arms. This stress is making her ill. I just want to SHAKE her and say "leave the bastard" but I know you can tell someone until they're blue in the face, but unless they come to a conclusion themselves it's pointless. I've told her they can't go on like this, but she's terrified of being on her own (Like I say, a lot of children to deal with) and has admitted she doesn't have the energy to be "strong" and kick him out.
I'd really like some advice, as I want to help her but don't know how.