Should it be tit for tat?

[ClaireCodd]

My dh to be has just got a firness dvd/ diet plan from amazon. Ive just found receipt for £105! He hid this receipt so dies not know i know. Im slightly angry as he says we cant afford for me to have hair extentions for our wedding.
My question is do i leave it? Spen some money when i go shopping with my friend on friday or confront him?
Also in past i have mentioned i would like to get a fitness equipment (small and could store in cupboard) many times. Costing about £80. Ti which he has said no. It wont get used. I feel a little like one rule for him another for me. Aibu?
Wwud?

Yanbu - BUT I don't see how spending even more money is going to help.

You need to talk to him about his splurge on the fitness stuff. He is not being fair. At all.

That's very dishonest of him. If you hadn't of found the receipt would you have noticed it missing from the bank account?

He used credit card. Which i would have eventually seen in statement. Think i would have questioned it then (humm) think i will chat to him bout it. Maybe give him chance to say himself first.
But the temptation to just spend the same on holiday clothes is so strong
We are getting married abroad btw. I have a strapless dress and would like to get sone strapless tops so i dont have tan marks lik

Husband to be?
Maybe you need to have a erupts talk about his attitude to money.
You should not have to 'ask' him for stuff while he is throwing money around!
Sounds a bit controlling to me

Serious not erupts
iPhone thinks its clever!!!

I agree with Kaluki. It's not about the amount of money, it's about the attitude that it's okay for him to spend money on fripperies but not for you.

Tit for tat would be childish. A grown up response would be to sit down and discuss the situation and look for ways of compromise, e.g. no hair extensions but some nice tops, or having a very tight food budget for a couple of weeks so that you can both have a treat.

Don't leave it. If this is a joint credit card you'll have to have some working agreement that no-one spends more than £20 (£50 whatever) on themselves without clearing it with the other first. If he doesn't mention the purchase, that's not good and I'd be tempted to split credit cards and manage them independently.

Before you get married have a very long talk about attitude to money and make sure you agree a few more ground-rules like the one above. I don't know the exact statistic but arguing about money has to be one of the big divorce-causers out there.

I would be seriously questioning going ahead with marriage to someone if I had to think twice about getting clothes for my holiday.. and if someone was dictating what I could and couldnt spend money on.

Dont have joint credit cards, have your own, then you can spend whatever you like (providing you work and are paying it off yourself) and he can do the same..

I would definately be having a long and serious talk about future finances if it is an issue before you have signed your name on the dotted line!

Thank you ladies. If im honest he has most knowledge of our finance and know what we can/ cant afford and i suppose i like itthat way as im still immature with money and just spend ( i was spoilt as child n got what i wanted when) dp nos this about me and has learnt how to help me. Im not fussed over asking for things as most times i get eventually. Just that fact he said no to me for things then spent so much himself. I fort it would be about £50 or so.
Im sure some of you wouldnt like this way, and fink im daft. But so far (7 yrs) it has worked for us.

separate accounts. your money goes into yours to spend on whatever you want. sorted.

Well do yourself a huge favour. If you know you're a bit slack where money is concerned, educate yourself and get involved rather than leaving it all to your fiancee. However nice partners may seem to be and however much we love them dearly, where money is concerned, it pays to be fully up to speed or you can be sold down the river very easily.

BTW 'fink' does make you sound stupid...

Not to mention "fort".

Th th th...

Don't do the same as him. Talk to him.

There is no need for insults. Im not thick. Just COZ i use text language as i find it easier does not make me thick.

You said we'd 'fink im daft'... and we're just pointing out that text speak in the wrong context always has the effect of making the user look daft.

It makes you SOUND thick, though. What the hell is 'fort' and 'nos'?

For god's sake, woman. If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to write properly.