My DP isn't a talker, fairly common I reckon. It is actually one of the many things I love about him in a way - my ex used to gabble on about a load of rubbish to anyone who'd listen and I enjoy spending time with the strong, silent type.
Part of the problem is that we've been together for four years now and never really "fallen out" we're both laid back and very happy together. We have both always put the other one first and been considerate to each other's needs etc. so it's been wonderful and although I knew he wasn't a talker - it didn't matter because everything was easy and breezy.
However, towards the end of last year we had some problems with his DD which have resulted in lots of heartbreaking stuff for him, for example her behaviour has become very very bad and we don't see her a lot now. His ex wife is constantly on his back and drama is only ever a text away. He changed jobs and although he likes it I know he feels trapped in the corporate rat race and would far prefer to be running a record shop or being a DJ 
. He's 41 so I think it's probably a fairly normal time to sit back and assess and wonder if you're missing out on something, he's a extremely passionate about music and I know he regrets not having that in his day to day life. I've also made a big decision regarding my career which will see me working less, studying and us generally having less money (which he has said he is in full support of). He told me a month or so ago that he is unhappy, not with me, but with life in general. I think disatisfied would be the way to explain it, and I agreed that I was too (had children young, haven't seen the world, working a regular job) although to a lesser extent.
I felt for him and wanted to make it all better but there's nothing I can do and he hasn't talked about it since. I'm sure he is more withdrawn though and recently he has been spending a lot of time with a very young girl at work who I have convinced myself he prefers the company of to me (no basis other than an instinct and the fact that in my head she resembles everything that he and I don't have - world at her feet, youth and vibrancy... not that we are a pair of fossils!!).
This could be completely unfounded and sounds a bit ridiculous but for all these reasons I'm feeling very vunerable and insecure about where things are going. In November we decided to get married and everything was very exciting but it hasn't been mentioned at all in the last few months and I'm waiting on a proposal that it was agreed would happen sometime this year but looking at him right now, I can't imagine he will summonds the energy or enthusiasm for any time soon.
I tried to talk to him on Sunday after a particulalry shit weekend with his DD (probably awful timing) and said how I was feeling (not about the girl at work) and said I was sorry to ask but could he give me a bit of reassurance that his current state of mind isn't about our relationship and our life together and that he isn't deeply, deeply sad because I feel l ike I can't make him happy at the moment and I should be able to. I feel like it's a failing on my part.
His response was less than enthusisatic, he did a kind of exasperated raspberry noise with his lips, looked at the TV, shrugged and said "no, I think it's fine" I laughed (nicely) and asked if I could get something a bit more concrete and passionate and he looked at me a bit blank and said, "not sure what you want me to say". So I said I'd like him to talk to me about what is going on and reassure me that it's not me/us. I welled up and said that I was really feeling low about it and thatc what we have is too precious to let go of just because he can't talk about things. Again, he just said "no, there's nothing going on, everything's okay"
Should I just leave it now? maybe it really is okay and by rooting around I'm going to make it not okay!? But if this is the beginning of the end, or the beginning of an emotional affair, or he is really depressed - then we need to air it.
When I write it all out it sounds so bizarre... this man is supposed to be my best friend... yet here I am reaching out in a very obvious way and I'm getting nothing back. But I can't be angry at him, i love him and feel for him for what he's going through.
Has anyone ever suceeded in making a man like this talk? We are getting on fine and have the same great sex life, time on our own, good conversation etc. as we have always had - although as I say, a bit more distance I think, a tiny bit. I don't want to rock the boat too much. But I feel we are drifting somewhere...
If it's unlikely I will get him to talk, what can I do to lift the big scary cloud that's looming over us? It feels like there's an elephant in the room but I don't know what it is..?
Thanks for reading if you got this far, I know this is a really minor problem in comparison to most on this board but I do appreciate any advice.